BH-7265  The World Practice Of Anal Love
[aka 'Assholes Around The World' or 'Analism Around The World' or 'Back Door Travels']
(Bruno Ogden)


INTRODUCTION 

"The next afternoon a very strange thing happened to me. I went to the hill 
after finishing my chores. It was an extremely hot day and I wanted to swim 
in the river. I took off my clothes on the top of the hill and ran down 
naked, until I came to the bottom. Then I ran into the water-it was very 
cold-and flipped over and over, refreshing myself. When I walked out of the 
water onto the river bank I was startled to see a woman sitting there 
watching me. 

"I covered my nakedness with one hand and shielded my eyes from the sun to 
see who it was. I had never seen her before, but she was quite good looking 
and about twenty-five or thirty years old. She was sitting with her legs 
drawn up and her naked pussy was visible to me. 

"I stared in wonder. Who was she? What was she doing there? She put her legs 
down and leaned back. Her white blouse shined in the sunlight and I could 
see the dark spots where her nipples touched the material underneath. 

"Do not cover yourself! You are a very beautiful boy. I enjoy looking at 
you!" she called to me. 

"I was shocked, but I listened to her. I moved my hands from my penis and 
stood naked in front of her. My body was still dripping wet as I walked 
toward her. 

"I am visiting friends about a mile up the river. I went for a walk and saw 
you bathing here. I am Maria. Come here, don't be afraid." 

"I walked to within a few feet of her. I brushed some of the water from my 
hair and said, "I am Antonio. We live just over the hill." 

"You are very exciting for a woman to look at, Antonio. How old are you?" 

"Almost thirteen." 

"She couldn't believe it. "You are kidding me! I would swear you are at 
least sixteen! You have a cock bigger than my husband's!" 

"I looked down at my penis. It was hanging full in front of me. I didn't 
know what to say or do. But I didn't have to wonder for long. She reached up 
and took my cock in her hand and held it tight. 

"My cock became hard almost instantly. Holding on to it, she squeezed it 
until it began to hurt. Then she let go and caressed my balls with her 
fingers. I loved the feeling, and I moved my body closer, spreading my legs 
a bit so she could get between them. Then she found my asshole with her 
fingertip and rubbed it gently. My cock stood straight out in front of me. 

"Then she lay on the ground and put her legs up. She pulled her dress to her 
waist and exposed her hairy cunt before me. It was a beautiful sight and I 
instinctively grabbed my cock as I knelt down between her legs, looking at 
it, feeling very excited. 

"Antonio, when I lift my legs into the air, I want you to put your cockhead 
on my anus, understand?" 

"I nodded. I would do anything she wanted. 

"But first, come here and let me suck on you for a minute." 

"I moved quickly and knelt down next to her face. She opened her sensual 
dark lips and fitted them around the head of my cock. I held her hair in my 
hands as she moved her head up and down on my shaft. The feeling was better 
than when Frederico had done it and the way she played with my heavy balls 
while she did it caused even more sensations of pleasure in my young body. 

"Finally, just when I realized I was getting ready to shoot, she pulled her 
head away and told me to go to her bottom. I got up and moved between her 
legs again, kneeling there with my wet cock in one hand. She lifted her legs 
high and pulled her feet over her face. Her pussy and asshole were spread 
before me as I moved the head of my cock down and braced myself with one 
hand. 

"I placed the head of my cock against the pink opening of her anus and she 
gasped. "Antonio, push till the head goes in just a little. Then make it 
come, make it shoot! I want to feel your hot young cream in my hole and all 
over my ass!" 

"Her words excited me more than anything ever had. I pressed the tip of my 
cock into her ass and to my surprise the muscle gave way and it entered 
without any problem. Then I moved my hand up and down the shaft. It was so 
very strange, not seeing the head of my cock, but masturbating on it at the 
same time. Her shouts of ecstasy were echoed by the valley. 

"In a minute I filled her with my semen. I pumped squirt after squirt into 
her and watched as it seeped out around the top of my cock and ran down her 
asshole. She brought one hand down and rubbed my come all over her pussy and 
her tummy. Her face was flushed and happy. And I could see a trickle of 
clear fluid coming out of her pussy. 

"As the last spurt of come shot from my cock, I knew I couldn't stand it any 
longer. The stones in the ground were digging into my knees and my body was 
trembling. I had a great desire to fuck her, to shove my cock all the way up 
her ass. I had never fucked anything or anyone before and I was desperate to 
know what it felt like. 

"So I did. I took my hand away and shoved my hips forward. Maria let out a 
scream which could almost have caused the aqueduct to collapse! I let my 
body fall to hers and her feet wrapped around my back. My cock slid in 
because of the lubrication of my semen and another surge shot through my 
body. I was getting harder again and I felt even more excited. 

"Fuck me! Hard! Fuck my asshole, little big boy!" She shouted and clawed at 
my naked back. I pumped my ass hard, shoving my long cock in and out of her 
wet asshole. In a few moments I felt my pressure rising again and I let 
loose with a powerful orgasm that filled her once again. My cock went soft, 
and my mind was spinning. I finally pulled out of her and rolled over on the 
ground. 

"We were silent for a few moments and then she sat up and straightened her 
dress. Antonio, you must have lied to me about your age. No boy of thirteen 
can do what you just did. Thank you, beautiful Antonio." 

"I asked her how long she would be in the area. She said till the day after 
tomorrow. 

"Then I could see you tomorrow, yes?" I asked with anticipation. 

"Yes, surely. Here, tomorrow afternoon." She stood up. 

"Yes, Maria, I will be here." I stood up also. She bent over and kissed me 
on the forehead and started up the river. I watched her until she was out of 
sight. I resisted the temptation to masturbate then, for I was still very 
excited. But I knew I would have to save myself for the next day. I jumped 
in the river, then ran up the hill and got dressed and went home ... 

"It was difficult to return the next day because Rita wanted me to help her 
clean the barn, and I pretended to be feeling terrible, telling her I would 
do it the next day. She believed me and I took off early in the afternoon 
for the river. Maria met me there and we took off our clothes and played in 
the water until we were so excited we couldn't stand it any longer. We stood 
in the hot sun on the river bank and held each other tightly. 

"I wanted to do the same thing we did the day before; I wanted to put my 
cock up her asshole. I had thought about it all night. I woke often, finding 
it hard to sleep, and played with myself, touching my cock and asshole, 
which sent shivers up my spine. It seemed very natural for me to fuck her 
ass again. I didn't even think about her pussy. 

"Suck on my nipples," Maria said to me, pushing my head down to her breasts. 
They were hard and I pulled them into my lips and licked them with my 
tongue. She was very pleased and she returned the favor by sinking to her 
knees in front of me and taking my hard cock into her mouth. She sucked on 
it for a minute as I stood with my hands on my hips, with my legs spread in 
the sandy soil. The sun beat down and I was in heaven. 

"She moved her head off my cock and started licking my balls. I shuddered as 
I watched her lovely face under my long thick cock, lapping my testicles. 
She sucked them into her mouth and swirled them with her tongue, and then 
she licked my thigh and brought her hands up to my ass cheeks. 

"Turn around, Antonio," she ordered. I wondered what she was going to do. I 
turned around so my ass faced her. She kissed it and let her tongue slide 
down between the cheeks. 

"Now bend over slowly," she said, and I did. "Oh, you are so hairy in 
between!" she exclaimed happily. Then, when I was facing the ground, she 
kissed me directly on the opening to my anus and I thought I would faint! 
The sensation was incredible! She licked and sucked and buried her head 
between the cheeks of my ass. She spread them with her hands and then moved 
her fingers down between my legs and began pulling on my cock. I nearly 
came, but held back for what was to follow. 

"I want to fuck you," I said as I stood up. She smiled and lay back on the 
ground, naked, spreading her shapely legs. I knelt between them. But she did 
not pull her legs up as the day before. 

"I know," I said, "why don't you turn over and I'll put it in from behind!" 

"Antonio, I want to have you fuck me normally! In my cunt!" 

"I thought about it for a moment and felt at once disappointed and afraid. I 
don't know why, I just did. I tried to put my cock in her pussy but I found 
that my erection had fallen down to such a point that I couldn't. She begged 
for it, but I just couldn't do it. 

"All right, we will try the other. I want your beautiful hard cock in me 
anyplace I can get it!" And then she lifted her legs and I saw her asshole, 
hot and gleaming in the sunlight. I put my cock to the opening and it got 
hard as a rock immediately. I shoved with all my might and entered her. We 
fucked there on the ground till I came." 

The understanding of the Oedipus complex is of paramount importance to us 
for an understanding of the problems which confront the neurotic as well as 
the normal individual. This complex, the common lot of civilized mankind, 
was the discovery of psychoanalysis. Freud, in his search for the secrets 
which beset the neurotic, and the desire to help free them from aberration, 
so that they could take an active and constructive part in society, found it 
necessary to trace the childhood experiences of these affected individuals. 

Certain techniques were innovated in order to accomplish this purpose. 
First, from his studies with Charcot and Bernheim, Freud found that, with 
the application of a technique known as hypnosis, the individual was able to 
relate certain traumatic experiences which seemingly he had long forgotten. 
Originally, Freud thought that, by having these individuals abreact (relive) 
the aberrative histories of their life with the full emotions they 
experienced at the original time, somehow the dammed-up emotional energy 
would free itself, thereby curing the individual. 

But the catharsis theory for the cure of mental illness was found to be 
premature. Freud discovered that the cure only lasted as long as the patient 
believed in him. If, for some reason or other, the patient would lose faith 
in the analyst, the symptoms would reappear. This faith and the subsequent 
hypothetical cure were found to be the result of suggestion. 

It is to Freud's credit that he noticed the large part played by suggestion 
in the cathartic method of therapy and sought to obviate it. He found that 
this suggestive phenomenon resembled falling in love, and it was in 
conjunction with this that he first recognized the phenomenon now known as 
transference. 

In this love transference, the patient saw in his analyst the return of some 
important figure out of his past, and consequently transferred onto his 
analyst the feelings which related to this individual. In the positive 
aspect of the transference, the patient transferred to the analyst the 
affectionate feelings out of his childhood that related to his situation 
with his father and mother. Consequently, there appeared the aim of winning 
the love of the analyst, which included that of a sexual nature. It was 
found that, while attempting to win the analyst's love, the patient would 
cure his own symptoms. Since these cures were designed to please the 
analyst, their effects lasted only as long-as the love transference remained 
active. 

Besides the discovery of the transference and its relation to the phenomenon 
of hypnosis, new means were discovered to extract the repressed material. 
Originally, the cathartic method of hypnosis and abreaction gave way to that 
of concentration, whereby the patient closed his eyes and reported to the 
analyst the first picture or thought in association with a question. 

Next, in modification of the latter, the pressure technique was developed. 
If the patient replied in the negative to a question, Freud suggested that, 
after he placed his hands on the patient's forehead, the correct answer 
would appear as the first thought. This thought was then to be communicated 
to the analyst without a question of its validity. Freud thought that this 
method was invaluable, except when there was no association or when the 
resistance was too strong. Further analysis proved necessary before the 
association could be revealed. One could discriminate between these two 
possibilities by noticing the patient's facial expressions. 

Then came free association which is still used today. Here, the associations 
to ideas are allowed to arise spontaneously without conscious restraint or 
selective criticism. 

All of these methods were developed after hypnotism was discarded in order 
to help free the patient from the suggestions of the physician. 

Although hypnosis was eliminated, the suggestive effects of the transference 
remained. It is inevitable that the patient falls in love with the 
therapist. But its suggestive consequences are overcome by explaining to the 
patient the nature of the love transference, and how it contains all the 
infantile desires. Therefore, the task of analysis has become that of making 
the transference conscious. Now, instead of the patient reproducing the 
transference in action, he recollects it in memory. With this development, 
therapy was realized with a minimum of suggestion. 

As another development to the study of the mind, it was found that the 
experiences related by the patient in hypnosis or in free association proved 
to be fantasies. In other words, these aberrative experiences which the 
patient thought were responsible for the outbreak of neurosis were really 
only fantasies which had very little relevance to anything the patient had 
ever experienced in reality. 

These fantasies are known as the primal scenes. Among these stories, which 
occur continually in the neurotic's imagination, are the observation of 
parental intercourse or seduction by an adult. Commenting on this 
phenomenon, Freud wrote in Introductory Lectures on Psychoanalysis: 

All this seems to lead to but one impression, that childhood experiences of 
this kind are in some way necessarily required by the neurosis, that they 
belong to its unvarying inventory. If they can be found in real events, well 
and good; but if reality had not supplied them they will be evolved out of 
hints and elaborated by phantasy. The effect is the same, and even today we 
have not succeeded in tracing any variation in the results according as 
phantasy or reality plays the greater part in these experiences. Here again 
is one of those complemental series so often referred to: it is certainly 
the strangest of all those we have so far encountered. Whence comes the 
necessity for these phantasies and the material for them? There can be no 
doubt about the instinctual sources; but how is it to be explained that the 
same phantasies are always formed with the same content? I have an answer to 
this which I know will seem to you daring. I believe that these primal 
phantasies are a phylogenic possession. In them the individual ... stretches 
out ... to the experiences of past ages. 

In other words, these phantasies possess a psychical reality in contrast to 
material reality, but in the world of neurosis "psychical reality is the 
determining factor." As with dreams, these phantasies were found to revolve 
around the fulfillment of wishes. 

These wishes portray a past that has long been forgotten, a past that 
existed when our parents were the most important and necessary beings in our 
lives. At this time we depended upon them for sustenance and shelter, and 
without them, or someone like them to fulfill these objectives, we would 
have surely succumbed to the forces of nature. 

These primal phantasies were found to reinstate that period of helplessness 
in our lives, and they exhibited a content similar to the play Oedipus by 
Sophocles. 

Oedipus, son of Laius, King of Thebes, and his queen Jocasta, was to have 
died as an infant because an oracle had warned Laius that his son would 
murder him. Oedipus was rescued and grew up with alien royalty. Oedipus soon 
doubted his origin and consulted an oracle. He was warned to avoid his home 
for he was destined to murder his father and marry his mother. In fear, he 
left the court where he grew up and, on the road, he met King Laius and 
killed him. He next came to Thebes and, after solving the riddle of the 
Sphinx, was made king by the Thebans out of gratitude. He married Jocasta, 
their queen, who in fact was his real mother. After she bore him two sons 
and two daughters, a plague broke out. The Thebans consulted the oracle and 
brought back the message that the plague would cease when Laius's murderer 
was driven from Thebes. 

The god commands us to expel from the land of Thebes. An old defilement we 
are sheltering. It is a deathly thing, beyond cure. 

(Oedipus, Sophocles) 

The progress of the play now reveals how the oracle was fulfilled and how 
Oedipus, in guilt and appalled by the grossness of his act, blinds himself. 

His fate may just as well have been ours, because it is the impulse in all 
of us to direct our first sexual impulses to our mother and our first hatred 
towards our father. Our dreams, which repeat our first childhood conflicts, 
prove this to us. Jocasta, warning Oedipus not to concern himself with such 
matters, says, 

Why should anyone in this world be afraid, Since Fate rules us and nothing 
can before seen? A man should live only for the present day. Have no more 
fear of sleeping with your mother! How many men in dreams, have lain with 
their mother! No reasonable man is troubled with such things. 

(Oedipus, Sophocles) 

Like Oedipus, we live in ignorance of the wishes which most stir our souls. 
Those wishes which are most repugnant to morality and, consequently, give 
rise to the strongest guilt, have been forced upon each of us by our very 
nature. 

Here in this land ... search reveals Things that escape an inattentive man. 

(Oedipus, Sophocles) 

Another tragic drama, Shakespeare's Hamlet, has its roots in the same soil 
as the Oedipus legend. Hamlet accepts the challenge offered by his father's 
ghost to seek revenge on his uncle, who killed his father and married his 
mother. The play is built upon Hamlet's hesitations over fulfilling this 
task. Why was Hamlet so incapable of taking this action? We see him on two 
occasions taking human life. First, in an outburst of temper, he runs his 
sword through Polonius, eavesdropping behind a curtain, and second, with 
premeditation, he sends two courtiers to the death they had been planning 
for him. Hamlet is able to do anything except take revenge on the man who 
did away with his father and took that father's place with his mother-the 
man who realized the repressed wishes of Hamlet's own childhood. Thus, the 
loathing which should drive him to revenge is replaced by self-reproaches 
and by scruples of conscience, reminding him that he is no better than the 
sinner he is to punish. 

Freud found that these primal scenes exhibited a psychical structure similar 
to the structure of the greatest literature of Western man. It is this 
triangle of events depicted in the above examples which constitutes the 
Oedipus complex. The female counterpart to the Oedipus situation is called 
the Elektra complex. 

It should be understood that, in both components of the Oedipus complex, 
male and female, the first love object is the mother. By renouncing the 
mother for the father, the girl enters into the situation. With the boy, the 
mother is retained as a prototype for all future lovers. 

From both of these examples we see that there are two aspects of the Oedipus 
complex: the yearning to return to the mother and the guilt felt because of 
this desire. Oedipus's blinding and Hamlet's scruples of conscience are both 
manifestations of this guilt. 

From where does this guilt arise? Freud provides us with an answer in The 
Ego and the Id: 

At a very early age, the little boy develops an object-cathexis for his 
mother, which originally related to the mother's breast and is the prototype 
of an object-choice on the anaclitic model; the boy deals with his father by 
identifying himself with him. For a while these two relationships proceed 
side by side, until the boy's sexual wishes in regard to his mother become 
more intense and his father is perceived as an obstacle; from this the 
Oedipus complex arises. 

It is the identification with the father which produced the inhibition, 
barring the way back to the mother. And the more we yearn for this 
transgression, the more guilt we have to deal with. It is precisely this 
guilt which produces the symptoms which constitute the neurosis. Thus, it is 
our yearning to return to the mother (incest) and the guilt over this wish 
(castration complex) which produces the conflict upon which the neurosis is 
constructed. It is the negative side of the Oedipus complex which causes the 
terror, transforming the wish for incest into its opposite-the horror of 
incest. 

There are a number of experiences in a boy's life which prepare him to 
identify the loss of the most valuable part of his anatomy, namely his 
penis, with the inhibition against incest. Possibly, the child's attendant 
will threatens him with castration because of masturbation activities. Or 
the loss of his mother's breast which he initially considered part of his 
own body. Or, the daily demand to part with the contents of his bowels. But 
this still does not break down his resistance; he is still unwilling to 
believe in the possibility of castration. The perception which finally 
breaks this resistance down is initiated as the observation of a being so 
similar to himself, possibly his sister, who does not possess a penis at 
all. The perception of this, coupled with the belief that the penis plays a 
part in sexual relations-which he may not have firsthand knowledge of but 
nevertheless evidences by the feelings in this organ-causes him to fear 
castration as a punishment for incest. As a result, his ego turns away from 
the oedipal strivings. Originally, this threat of castration came from the 
external environment, but once the father is identified with, his 
prohibitions become part of a boy's mental makeup. The terror associated 
with incest and castration has then become internalized. This 
internalization of dread has positive results, since it leads into exogamous 
relations. 

In the following five chapters, we will be tracing the development and 
ramifications of the Oedipus complex as it appears in the life of the 
neurotic and deviant individuals. 

For this study, one point should be kept in mind: the word complex denotes 
unconsciousness. The Oedipus complex is an unconscious situation, since it 
was repressed because of its incompatibility with the conscious mind. Just 
because we are unaware of it, however, does not mean that the unconscious 
mind does not affect our lives. 

Anal-erotics are those individuals who have renounced the union of the 
genitals and who replace the genitals of their sexual partners with the anal 
region of the body. Doing this, they disregard the lack of suitable organic 
arrangements as well as any impediment offered by feelings of disgust. We 
find from them that the excretory functions, which are regarded as improper 
because of toilet training, retain the ability to attract the whole of their 
sexual interest. 

Whenever we confront a sexual aberration of this nature, investigation 
almost always reveals some experience in the nature of a fixation in 
childhood. Originally, the child's attitude to his anal canal is associated 
with the pleasurable feelings it yields him. In fact, to the excreta itself, 
he feels no disgust; they are his first gift to the people he esteems, until 
he is forced by his upbringing to exchange these pleasures for social 
respectability. 

But what is it that causes this fixation to the pleasures of childhood which 
leads to the abandonment of the reproductive function? The answer is always 
concerned with the way in which the Oedipus complex is resolved. 

CHAPTER ONE: Susan - United States 

"I'm twenty-three and a teacher at a private girls' school in Los Angeles. 
You would expect me to have a nice quiet house with a husband and a garden 
and lots of books on my coffee table. Well, I don't. I have an apartment, 
and I don't have a husband. But I do have a lot of male visitors who don't 
get past the door with their pants on. There is a garden out back, where I 
sometimes sit in my bikini and spread my legs so my pussy hair shows-it 
drives the guys in the little office building next door absolutely wild! And 
I have books on the coffee table, mostly picture books of anal intercourse. 
I dig looking at pictures of big fat cocks sliding up a girl's asshole. 

"I also like to get out of Los Angeles for a weekend trip to Las Vegas. The 
whole atmosphere of Vegas turns me on-the lights, the money, the crazy night 
people. It's there I find my best tricks, where I can let loose, let my hair 
down. 

"But I usually have a problem when I let my hair down. Christ, even when a 
guy comes to my place in L.A. you would think he'd take the hint by looking 
at the damn picture books on the coffee table! I like getting fucked in my 
ass. It's as simple as that. And most guys-although not all, thank 
God!-don't seem to dig it. I think they're basically afraid of it, because 
after the first time-if they get into it or get pushed into it-they always 
come back for more. 

"I couldn't go through with a normal fuck. It just doesn't work for me! I've 
got a beautiful body-firm breasts, hard nipples, a nice hairy pussy-but my 
ass is the best thing about me. It's soft and smooth and shapely, and the 
opening is lined with soft hair, like the soft down of a feather, and it 
holds and caresses a cock like no cunt ever could. 

"What I started to say before I got turned on about myself was that it 
happens time and time again. I meet a nice guy-hell, maybe a beautiful 
guy-with a cock halfway down to his knees, and we have some drinks on the 
Strip and see a show and then back to the hotel for a good fuck. Only he 
wants to stick it in my cunt, and I want him to stick it up my rear. 

"The minute I see a cock aimed at my cunt I shiver and go cold. I tried, 
believe me, I tried, I can't take a cock up my cunt-I don't know why-but I 
can't. I can lick them and suck them till they come. I can caress them with 
my hands, my hair, my feet even, but I can't take a cock up my pussy. I'd 
really like it that way, you know? I'd love to turn on to a good cunt-fuck. 
I'd love to like it because it would make my guy happy. But at the last 
minute I get really scared and I freak out. I seem to become the 
stereotype-the uptight schoolteacher who doesn't put out for anyone. 

"But have a guy put his finger up my asshole, I go bananas! I'm like a wild 
woman. The sensations, the thoughts, the experience of the whole thing sends 
me into ecstasy. And then a cock up there-the bigger the better-and I'm 
completely done for. One good ass-fuck in Las Vegas gets me through three 
weeks of teaching those little monsters. But most men don't like to do it, 
at least men in this country don't. I've heard Frenchmen fuck their girls in 
the ass all the time. The mere thought of it leaves me very frustrated. 

"I'm super frustrated right now because of Paul. He's a super friend and I 
like him a hell of a lot. I saw him at this nude stage show in Hollywood and 
happened-actually I planned it-to bump into him afterwards. He told me the 
show was going to Vegas in a few weeks, and I remembered it. I also 
remembered his fantastic body and the size of that thing between his legs. 
And I met him again in Vegas. Of course. 

"I saw the show and was incredibly turned on by him, even more than the 
first time. He knew I was out there. I had sent him a note backstage, and he 
spied me in the second row and winked at me just before it came to his turn 
to take his clothes off. Because of laws in Vegas, they couldn't do the show 
totally nude, so he stripped down to a see-through pair of shorts. That hunk 
of meat looked even more tempting behind the flimsy covering. He thrust his 
hips in the air at the front of the stage and I closed my eyes and pretended 
he was standing behind me, shoving it deep in my ass. 

"He had a near hard on by the time the curtain fell and when I met him 
backstage I looked down and saw the outline of his cock in his tight white 
pants. I told him he was great and he kissed me-a nice, juicy, meaningful 
kiss. I felt his cock press against my leg and his hand came up and tweaked 
my right nipple through my dress. We went for drinks and it was hard to keep 
our hands off of each other. 

"I really like you, Susan," he said, holding my hand. His eyes were huge and 
dark ... captivating. I was really going into orbit-with the wine and my 
sexual passion and his beautiful body. 

"I'm surprised you're not a homosexual," I told him. 

"Why?" 

"Because you're so beautiful. And you're an actor. You know what they say 
... " 

"He winked playfully. "Don't believe everything you hear-but you're 
close-you found one of the few straights." 

"I smiled and moved my hand away. I looked at him and a thought came to me. 
He was so handsome and I felt so at ease, I thought if there were anyone who 
could help me get over my aversion to cunt fucking, it would be him. With a 
cock like his, I wanted to take it anywhere he wanted to put it. 

"You see, despite my love for anal sex, I never have given up my desire to 
conquer my fear of vaginal sex. I used to masturbate while dreaming of a guy 
sticking his cock in my pussy, and I've dreamed about it in my sleep. But 
when it comes to the real thing-freeze-up time! That's why I thought Paul 
would be able to help me. 

"In my room at the hotel-I stay in a different one each trip, and usually 
find a guy to pay for it-we hugged and kissed for a few minutes until we 
couldn't stand it any longer. We had to take off our clothes. Paul reached 
down and pulled my skirt up to my waist and rubbed my cunt lips through my 
panty hose. I was moist and he felt it, and it sent him into orbit. 

"Susan, I'm gonna fuck you like you've never been fucked before!" he said 
passionately. 

"Paul, Paul," I managed to say, but I thought to myself, you sure are, 
honey! See? Always in my mind-even when I'm hoping for a good cunt-fuck, I'm 
thinking about anal intercourse! 

"Paul pulled his shirt over his head and threw it on the floor. His chest 
was hairless but muscular. I lay my head against it and licked his hard 
nipple. He rubbed his hand over my hair and I heard his zipper sliding down 
as his other hand was getting rid of his pants. I kissed him as he tugged on 
his pants with both hands and in a second, when the pants slid down over his 
buttocks, I felt his monster cock spring out between us and push against me. 
I couldn't stand it. I had to have it in my mouth. 

"I knelt down in front of him and stared at it. It was long and extremely 
thick. The head was very dark and absolutely huge-the crown on top of the 
tower-and beneath, his balls hung low in their hairy sac. I placed my hands 
on his thighs as he stood still in front of me. He grasped his long cock in 
both hands and pulled it down, holding it directly in front of my lips. 

"I smiled at it, looking directly into the slit in the tip, and then I 
opened my lips and took it. I clamped them down around the underside of the 
head and let the warmth of my wet mouth do a number on the tip. Paul moaned 
and clenched his fists. So far so good. 

"I sucked hard with my cheeks and took another inch. Again, he moaned and 
moved a little. Then I let my fingers crawl up his legs until they brushed 
his beautiful hairy balls and that really did him in. He pulled out of my 
mouth and sat down on the edge of the bed. 

"Come here baby, and do me good!" he said, as he flopped back. I knelt 
between his outstretched legs and pulled the pants from his feet. His cock 
stood up in the air. His arms were outstretched on the mattress, and his 
eyes were closed. I wanted to give him a good blow job ... I knew I would. 

"I started licking the inside of his thighs. Then I moved my head so that my 
nose touched his balls. They contracted with the excitement until I took 
them into my mouth and sucked them gently. The warmth made them expand again 
and soon they rolled around in my mouth freely and easily. Paul brought his 
hands down and lifted his cock in the air and I knew he was dying to have me 
suck it. 

"I dropped my head and his balls fell from my lips and hung between his 
outstretched legs. Then I went down on his enormous organ. I took as much of 
it into my mouth as I could-it was halfway down my throat-and worked up and 
down the shaft, expertly. I sucked and licked and caressed with my tongue, 
as I ran my hands over his balls and gently probed down into his hairy 
asshole. 

"I guess I'm fascinated with the anal area on any person, because I like to 
finger-fuck guys while I'm blowing them. But I always meet opposition. If 
they would be cool about it and relax, then they'd find out how great it can 
be. They'll say they don't dig it but they haven't tried it! And once they 
try it, they beg for more. Man, everyone's so fucked-up about assholes! 

"Anyway, I almost made Paul come. His balls tightened and his breathing 
almost stopped. I felt it happening and knew he stopped it at the last 
minute. He pulled my head from his huge cock and held me still. 

"Susan, don't move! I'm gonna come." He was really worried. I wouldn't have 
minded drinking his hot cum. It would have excited me and made me want more 
in my asshole. But Paul wanted to save it. Then I thought about it in my 
pussy and I told myself I wanted it there. 

"I stood up and took off my clothes as he watched, fascinated. He was fully 
recovered-he wasn't on the verge of orgasm any longer-and he played with his 
huge dick as I stripped in front of him, doing a kind of striptease, getting 
him excited. 

"How do I look?" I asked coyly. 

"Incredible!" he replied, sitting up. He was staring directly at my cunt. I 
saw his lips part and his tongue licked them. I knew he wanted to eat me and 
I moved my hands down and pulled the lips apart and then let them come back 
together again. The sight of my pink flesh inside the thick hair was all he 
needed. 

"I want to suck your pussy, Susan," Paul said as he fell to his knees in 
front of me. "I want to suck your pretty pussy till you flood my face with 
your hot cunt juice!" 

"I could see talking turned him on. "Lay down on the floor and let my cunt 
sit on your face," I told him. He obeyed and lay flat on the floor, his cock 
standing up between his legs. He put his arms back and I stood above him. 
Then I felt his hands take hold of my ankles. He looked up to see my dark 
crotch hovering above him and I started to descend, moving my cunt lips 
closer and closer to his open mouth and hungry eyes. 

"I was very hot. I felt the flesh of my breasts harden like rock. My nipples 
stood erect, like his cock. My head was spinning as I looked down to see his 
face hungrily awaiting its meal. And I wanted to give it to him, everything 
he wanted. Because then he would give me what I wanted. 

"You've got the most beautiful cunt I've ever seen," he said as my pussy 
neared his face. Then the hair touched his outstretched tongue and he 
couldn't say another word. My cunt was at his lips and his tongue was 
finding its way up into me. 

"I lowered my body to his head and my cunt plastered itself over his lips. 
His tongue slid into me and I watched his eyes desperately gazing up at my 
breasts. He lifted his arms and took hold of my nipples as he began to suck 
on my clitoris. He certainly knew what he was doing. 

"I grabbed his head and ran my fingers through his hair as I knelt there, 
moving my pelvis over his face. He nibbled on my cunt lips and bit them a 
little, then he slid his tongue over my clit and sucked it till chills ran 
up and down my spine. His fingers moved from my nipples to my buttocks and 
he spread my ass cheeks and rubbed against the nub of my asshole. I went 
electric, crazy! The sensation drove me insane and I cried out for more. 

"He rubbed his fingers up and down the crack of my ass as he ate my hard 
clitoris. I was hotter than hell. I pulled up and looked at his face. It was 
wet with his saliva and my cunt juices. He smiled. 

"Sit in the chair," he ordered, pointing to the chair near the bed. I stood 
up and placed my hand on my pussy, feeling the wetness there. I liked how he 
was sucking on me and figured it would help me get ready for his cock. I sat 
in the chair and spread my legs. He followed me and knelt between them. He 
held his enormous cock in one hand and fingered my cunt with the other. In a 
minute I was begging for his tongue again, and he brought his face between 
my thighs. I threw both legs over Paul's shoulders and hooked them around 
his neck. I pulled his face against my open cunt. He was trapped, and he 
loved it. It was at that moment I knew I really liked this guy. I felt there 
were possibilities with him, a future. He looked so beautiful, so loving 
there between my legs. I didn't want to lose him. 

"Hi, beautiful baby!" he said, smiling. He was talking to my cunt! Honestly, 
he looked at it and licked it and talked to it. "All set for a nice big kiss 
from Paul? Then Paul's big prick?" 

"I sighed and pulled his head to me. His tongue slid up my pussy and didn't 
miss an inch of it. I was in hysterics-my clit was trembling and I felt the 
fluids rushing down my channel, over his lips and down his neck. I saw him 
ram his body against the chair, and I knew he was sliding his long cock up 
and down against the material. His eyes darted up to my face every now and 
then. I felt as if I were in total control, and I knew I was just about 
ready to come. I wanted to climax, wanted it very badly. I wanted to give 
him what he wanted-my pussy juice, my moment of ecstasy-so he would give me 
a good shot up my ass. I longed for the feeling of his beautiful hard cock 
spurting loads of white semen up my asshole. It had to come true! I was 
losing the thoughts of a cunt-fuck rapidly. 

"I was ready to explode. I knew I was coming-there was no stopping it now. I 
squealed and thrust my cunt as far forward as I could and unlocked my legs. 
I felt the first rush of excitement through my body-that almost-faint 
feeling-and then I knew the gush was coming. I closed my eyes and all of a 
sudden something happened, something I'll never forget ... Just as I was 
hitting the top moment of my climax, Paul lifted my legs high into the air 
and slid his mouth away from my cunt lips and down to my asshole! 

"He sucked on my asshole and shoved his tongue up it just as I came! I 
screamed and trembled, and he must have thought an earthquake had hit. It 
was the most incredible orgasm of my entire life, bar none. That moment of 
tongue-meeting-anus really did me in. It was emotional as well as physical. 
I really liked this guy and it seemed so right that he did what he 
did-sucking my asshole when he didn't even know, that's what I wanted and 
preferred. 

"After the climax was over, I relaxed in the chair and Paul sat on the 
floor, still licking my womanly fluids from his lips, playing with his stiff 
cock. There was a smile on his face like none I had ever seen. I knew there 
was more to come ... 

"We rolled around on the bed for a while, kissing and hugging. We were both 
incredibly turned on but every time his cock came into contact with my pussy 
I shuddered, although I did my best to conceal my terror from Paul. He cared 
about me-maybe he could even love me someday-and I didn't want to mess 
things up. 

"Finally, as he moved his cock between my legs, I knew I had to say 
something. "How'd you like to put it up my ass?" I asked, over his shoulder. 
I felt something go through him and then he pulled away. He looked at me as 
if I were nuts and then he laughed, and I imagine he thought I was kidding. 

"Spread your legs, baby, and put this pillow under your ass," he said. I 
thought maybe he was going to try it, and so I obeyed. My cunt was in the 
air, but when I spread my legs and lifted them, my anus was ready too. I 
loved to be fucked in the ass like that, with my legs up, being able to kiss 
him and have him suck on my breasts. But he put his cock against my cunt and 
started to work it in. I freaked. 

"I wanted to do it, I really did. But the fear was just too much and I moved 
away and started to cry. Paul couldn't understand what was wrong and I told 
him I couldn't do it like that. I was afraid he'd call me a freak, but I was 
being silly. He cared about me and he seemed to understand. He didn't ask 
questions or pry into my past. He told me very honestly that he hadn't ever 
fucked a girl in the ass. That really surprised me because I thought people 
in show business were so jaded. He said he was afraid he'd hurt me with his 
big cock. I tried to assure him it would be wonderful, for both of us, and I 
started talking him into it. 

"I spread my beautiful ass cheeks for him and let him nibble there. I spread 
them as far as I could so some of the pinkness of the opening of my anus was 
exposed, and he experimented with his finger, sliding just the tip in and 
out. He was getting to like it, and at the same time I stroked his cock, 
which kept him excited. 

"I asked him if he liked getting finger-fucked and he said that he did, so I 
told him I would like the same thing. We were in a sixty-nine position and I 
felt his finger slide up me after he applied saliva to my asshole. The 
feeling was out of this world and I took his cock into my mouth at the same 
time. He fucked me with his finger, in long, beautiful strokes, as he stared 
in fascination at my opening and closing asshole. My pussy opened before him 
also and he ran his other fingers over my cunt lips. I felt his cock swell 
in my mouth and tickle the back of my throat. 

"Then I pulled away and told him to put two fingers up my ass, and after 
some hesitation he did, while I sucked and nibbled on the tip of his giant 
dick. He was getting to like it, I could tell, and on his own he inserted a 
third finger, which felt like a cock was going into me. I could feel the 
probing deep in my rectum and the lips of my anus held tightly to his 
fingers. I squirmed on the bed and knew it was almost time to switch places 
and get his enormous prick up there. I was dying for it and I knew now that 
he wouldn't balk at giving it to me. 

"And then, in one easy second, it was all destroyed. Suddenly, without 
warning, my mouth was filled with one of the biggest loads of cum I've ever 
swallowed. He shouted and shoved his fingers up my asshole as far as they 
would go. His cock head hit the back of my throat as it gushed in spasms and 
I swallowed and choked on his heavy load. It surprised him, too. He was so 
fascinated, so deep into watching his fingers fuck my asshole, that he lost 
control and let go. He told me later it was one of the best orgasms of his 
life, but that didn't make up for the loss I felt. 

"And what I feared came to be. He sat up when it was over and told me he was 
really planning on fucking me in the ass, but now that he had shot off he 
couldn't get it up again, which I knew really wasn't true. He would do it 
the next time. 

"I wondered if there would be a next time with him knowing he wasn't going 
to get a cunt-fuck out of me. I knew damn well he could have gotten it up 
again for my pussy, but the feelings of skepticism he had had when I first 
mentioned the subject were back and I knew the night was lost. 

"I sucked his cock some more till all the cum was out of it and then he let 
it rest in my lips till it had softened. He played with my cunt and my 
asshole, but he never let himself get excited again. He was scared and a 
little freaked by the whole thing. 

"When he left, I felt terribly depressed and terribly inadequate. I didn't 
want to be the way I was, but there wasn't anything I could do about it! I 
wanted it so bad, I needed it so badly, and his massive cock would have been 
perfect. 

"I got my rubber dildo out of my suitcase and loaded it with cream, and then 
slid it into my rectum as I fingered my clit. I fucked myself like that-as I 
had many times in the past-crying and feeling awful, and yet growing very 
excited. I came, finally, and let the fake cock slip out of my ass. But I 
couldn't stop crying. Why am I like this? Why? 

"And why couldn't I find someone who understands?" 

Susan is obviously a person for whom the act of sex must remain somewhat 
removed from the idea of love. Removed in the sense that she is completely 
preoccupied with her own pleasure, not the pleasure of her partner. 

In psychological terminology we classify this type of individual, insofar as 
it is possible to classify on the basis of such scant data, as a narcissist. 
Such person is an individual whose ego has not developed to the stage of 
object love, thus the sexual object for this female is herself. Despite this 
obvious disadvantage, Susan seems able to fascinate Paul. In this 
connection, it is of interest to our investigation to mention the thoughts 
of Sigmund Freud: 

It seems very evident that one person's narcissism has a great attraction 
for those others who have renounced part of their own narcissism and are 
seeking after object love; the charm of a child lies to a great extent in 
his narcissism, his self-sufficiency and inaccessibility, just as does the 
charm of certain animals which seem not to concern themselves about us, such 
as cats and large beasts of prey. 

Narcissism as a stage of development of the ego lies between what Freud 
designated auto-eroticism and object-love. Autoeroticism connotes pleasure 
derived from one's own body. But in this early phase of development the ego 
is almost nonexistent, and the child is at the mercy of his organic demands. 
In its later development the ego splits itself from the id (the reservoir of 
instinctual impulses), and directs this flow of libido toward objects of the 
external world. Prior to this cathexis of object-libido the ego passes 
through a stage of primary narcissism, whereupon the ego cathects itself 
with libido. This stage of ego development is necessary for the maturation 
of the normal personality. If not for this stage of maturation, the 
individual would be completely subservient to the demands of the external 
world. Thus, primary narcissism is a necessary development of the human 
psychological organization. 

The type of narcissism from which Susan is suffering is what Freud termed 
secondary narcissism. In this occurrence, the individual withdraws her 
libido from the interests of the object world and reinvests it in herself. 
Secondary narcissism also has a definite purpose and cannot be viewed as 
pathological, for this is the way the normal individual gives up love 
objects, sometimes necessary in the course of human life. But when this 
libido becomes dammed up and is unable to reinvest itself in the object 
world, then we have a pathological condition known as the narcissistic 
neurosis. 

We invariably find that narcissism is bound up with sexual deviations, 
especially those involved with the oral and anal orifices of the anatomy. 
Freud commented in Three Essays on the Theory of Sexuality that a perversion 
is the opposite of a neurosis. By this he meant that in a perversion 
(deviation) the inhibitive forces of the psychical organization are in some 
form underdeveloped or rudimentarily constituted. The causes for this 
disturbance are always the result of a failure to form a positive 
identification with one's parents or the social milieu. 

It is obvious that Freud had in mind the placing of the sexual function 
primarily in the service of the procreation of mankind. Today, with the 
increasing danger of overpopulation, it begins to appear that this Victorian 
concept of sexuality is outdated. But if we study the matter more closely, 
we find that civilization is taking us in the direction of a state of 
affairs which would have been regarded in Freud's time as neurotic, actually 
narcissistic neurotic. The cause of this neurosis is not that the sexual 
function is unaligned with the reproductive one, but that it is unaligned 
with the affectionate. 

Susan is obviously an anal-erotic who derives pleasure from feelings related 
to the childhood feelings of retention, expulsion, or the obversion of 
feces. Susan's libido or pleasure drive is arrested, or fixated, in this 
phase of psychosexual development. The child who is fixated at the expulsion 
level of the anal impulses is most likely to develop the characteristics of 
ambitiousness and conceit, which are attributed to feelings generated by a 
successful elimination. 

Karl Abraham, a follower of Freud, divided the anal level of maturation into 
two phases. The earlier one he designated as the expulsion tendency; the 
later phase as the retentive. Susan is obviously of the latter type. In her 
efforts to achieve an orgasm, she is tending toward the keeping and 
manipulating of Paul, much the same as she found pleasure in retaining her 
feces as a young girl. First of all, she is fixated at the anal-erotic 
stage. She also has regressed to the narcissistic phase of ego development. 
Not only does she display these characteristics in relation to Paul, her 
love object, but one may safely assume that she is concerned with nobody but 
herself in all of her involvements, sexual or otherwise. 

Are there reasons for these two types of regressive development? Would it 
issue from what psychoanalysts call the narcissistic wound of the phallic 
phase of development, or what is more often known as penis envy? 

The answers to these questions will be found in the development and 
subsequent analysis of all the female cases outlined in this work. For 
purposes of clarification, it is best if we begin with a history of the 
development of the female. 

It is obvious that anatomically the female finds adaptation to the world 
more difficult than does the male. She must undergo, as she matures, a 
fundamental change in her choice of a love object, because the mother is the 
first recipient of an object cathexis. The male child retains the mother as 
the protype for all later object-loves. The female must sublimate this drive 
and transfer it to the father in the course of her maturation. 

This is usually accomplished when she progresses to the phallic phase of 
development. Until this phase there is very little difference between the 
little boy and the little girl. But at about the age of four, depending upon 
external factors, she perceives the anatomical disillusion between the 
sexes, a factor which she does not take lightly. 

The subsequent manifestations are twofold. First, as Freud remarked, "the 
girl holds her mother responsible for her lack of a penis, and never 
forgives her for that deficiency." From this depreciation, she transfers her 
libido to her father and seeks a child from him. This development in her 
life is known as the female castration complex and by its activation she 
enters into the Oedipus situation. 

Secondly, as a result of her anatomical distinctions, a suitable organ for 
the discharge of aggressions is lacking. The clitoris does not and cannot 
serve the purpose; it is basically an inward organ. To clarify, the male 
child, by virtue of his penis, possesses an organ which is by its physical 
shape designed for the exploration and conquering of the world. Both his 
psychologic and anatomical forces are directed toward the outer world. A 
man, by his nature, is a forcer of situations; a woman is the receptor. The 
female does not possess an organ for the discharge of aggressions. She is 
the victim of her anatomical characteristics. As a result, she is forced-at 
this period of genital trauma-to turn her aggressions inward. This inward 
turning gives woman her uniquely passive-masochistic character, as opposed 
to the male's sadistic-aggressive drive. 

In Susan we see the attempt to deny this genital trauma, and as a result she 
sacrifices her most unique feminine attributes: her passivity and her desire 
to have a child. In other words, she forfeits her ability to give herself 
wholly to a man, and her ability to carry out a sexual function which will 
result in a child. 

In this highly narcissistic case, we perceive nothing characteristic of only 
the American woman, but of an aberrative individual whose deficiencies are 
found around the world. 

"I thought I had lost Paul for sure, so you can imagine my surprise when he 
knocked on my door the next afternoon. I had been to downtown Las Vegas in 
the morning, and was just about to take a shower when he turned up. I held a 
towel to my body and asked who it was. 

"Paul! I want to see you," he called from the hall. I quickly opened the 
door and he walked m. He was dressed in shorts and a T-shirt and carried a 
tennis racket in his hand. "I've been playing some tennis, but I got horny 
"cause I was thinking of you. And I have rehearsal in an hour." 

"I didn't know what to do or say. Still holding the towel in front of me, I 
kissed him on the lips. But I was trembling because I thought we would go 
through the whole number again, and I wasn't ready for that. 

"He pulled the towel aside and fingered the hair on my pussy. I stepped back 
and turned around so he could look at my ass. Paul didn't move. I asked him 
if he liked my ass. 

"It's beautiful," he said calmly. 

"Well," I said, "I can only get turned on by a good fuck in my ass. I like 
you too much, Paul, and I'm going to be too hurt if I do anything with you 
again that doesn't include anal intercourse. If you want this, it's all 
yours." I patted my smooth ass cheeks and turned back to face him. "If not, 
then you had better leave." 

"He dropped his racket to the bed and opened his shorts. He dropped them to 
the floor and stood in his white underwear. Then he bent down and undid his 
shoelaces and took off his shoes and white socks. Standing up again, he 
removed his jockey shorts and his half-hard cock jumped out. Now, he stood 
there, naked except for his T-shirt. He looked very sexy that way. 

"I really want to try, Susan. I've been hot all night thinking about it. 
I've gotta see what it's like." He took hold of his penis and stroked it. 
The head grew thick and rounded in his hand and soon it was as hard as it 
had been the night before. I reached around my buttocks and pushed my 
fingers against my anus. I was ready, too, more ready than I ever could be! 

"How do we do it? What position?" Paul asked, like a little boy getting his 
instructions from his first experienced lady. The whole situation turned me 
on-this beautiful hunk of virgin with, his enormous dick. I couldn't wait to 
feel its action up there, spurting, burning. 

"Let's do it dog-style. That way you can watch your cock going in," I said, 
feeling like an expert. I had to be the one to lead this new experience for 
him, and I kind of liked the feeling. I was a good teacher-of little girls 
in Los Angeles, and of big boys in Las Vegas who had the potential of 
becoming great ass fuckers! 

"I knelt on the floor and spread my legs. Then I leaned my weight against my 
arms and stayed like that on all fours as Paul knelt behind me, I felt his 
hands move over my ass cheeks and I shuddered in anticipation. 

"Won't it hurt?" he asked. 

"Kiss it, make it nice and slippery," I told him. Immediately his head was 
buried between my buttocks. I felt his tongue lick my anus over and over, 
each time applying saliva. It ran down over my cunt. I reached back with one 
hand and lightly fingered my pussy, while his lips hungrily sucked on my 
asshole. I was ready for it now and I told him to get into position. 

"I'm ready, Susan. I'm gonna fuck your ass!" Paul said, excited. He held his 
cock in his hands and centered the head on the opening. My asshole parted as 
he pushed forward. The tip slipped in and the head of his cock was locked 
there, surrounded and held captive by the tight walls of my asshole. I felt 
as if I were being spread apart-his cock certainly was the biggest I had 
ever had in there-and I loved every wonderful sensation of it slipping into 
me. 

"Oh Susan, wow!" Paul whispered as he saw the tip of his cock disappear into 
my hole. He pushed forward slightly and another inch slid into me. He 
couldn't believe it, and he shook and trembled in excitement. I felt his 
cock grow larger within me and I begged him to put it all in. 

"Susan, does it hurt?" 

"Yes, but I love it. Please, Paul, fuck my asshole, burn my asshole with 
your big dick!" 

"I was wild now, insane with passion. I pushed back, forcing his cock up 
me-all of it!-till his pubic hair mashed against my buttocks. I squealed and 
bolted upright. It felt as if my head was going to pop off my body! He 
grabbed my tits and held them tight, as his cock adjusted to the tight, hot 
channel it was now invading. He was breathing hard, in spasms, and I felt 
chills up my spine each time he let out his breath onto my shoulder. 

"Paul pulled out slowly, looking down to see what was happening, and then 
pushed back in, equally as slowly. It was new for him, different, and very 
wonderful. I could tell he was in another world, especially when he started 
to increase his rhythm and began really fucking me like a dog. He was a 
superstud of a man and his cock knew what it was doing. I bent forward 
again, placing my head on the floor, so my ass was open and spread before 
him. And as he lunged forward again, his balls slapped my pussy and sent 
even more sensations of pleasure through my body. I was being satisfied like 
I had never been satisfied before. I could hardly believe it was happening. 
It was so fast and so furious and so unexpected. 

"Fuck me hard, hard!" I shouted. 

"Oh, baby, I'm gonna come in your ass! I'm gonna fill your ass till you 
explode!" 

"Yes, please, Paul, come ... fill me with your hot cum! Put it in my 
asshole!" 

"He began to pound his body against mine. My cunt juices were flowing and I 
was experiencing a constant orgasm. I spread my legs and met his every 
stroke. He had his hands on my buttocks, bracing himself, watching his huge 
prick invading me. I knew he had to be close. I wasn't going to be able to 
take it much longer in that position. 

"Paul!" I shouted, waiting for it. 

"Now, now, baby ... here I come!" and all at once the most incredible load 
of semen burst from the tip of his cock and filled me. He rammed into my ass 
for the last time and, as we fell to the floor, I felt the spasms of his 
swollen cock rocking inside me. His semen ran down the length of his cock, 
along my channel, and dribbled out. Then it dripped to my cunt and rested 
against his balls. He moaned and clawed at my shoulders and began kissing my 
hair and neck. He was in heaven and we both wished it would last forever. I 
wouldn't let him take it out-I wouldn't let him move-until it had softened 
within me. 

"Finally, when it did, it slipped out by itself, with a popping sound. Paul 
rolled over and lay next to me on the floor, panting. His cock was wet with 
cum and he rubbed it with his hand. I turned and looked at it-it was still 
so very large-and thought to myself, I can't believe I was fucked by that 
big beautiful cock! 

"I started to get up, but Paul stopped me. He was getting another erection 
and I wondered what he wanted to do. I immediately was afraid he wanted to 
fuck me in the cunt. But he didn't. 

"Do what you did last night, only put your ass on my mouth. I want to suck 
my cum out of you." 

"I looked at him in shock. I couldn't believe he had said it, but I guess 
his first experience with anal intercourse had freed him. I was excited 
again--I could feel the huge load of hot cum inside my rectum and the 
thought of giving it back to him was very exciting. 

"I got up on my feet and lowered my ass to his face. Only this time I was 
facing his cock, and I knelt on either side of his shoulders. As soon as his 
tongue touched my anus, I saw his cock grow in his hand and I reached down 
and began to rub the tip, and then his balls. He was masturbating himself 
expertly, and I knew he would come faster if he did it himself. I was giving 
him the stimulation he needed with my ass plastered against his face. 

"I watched his cock go up and down as I heard him moan and felt him moving 
his mouth and tongue under my spread buttocks. My pussy was against his chin 
and that added to his delight. My anal muscles were now loose from his big 
cock, and his tongue slid easily up the channel. His semen was sliding out 
of me and coating his throat! It was something that I had never done before, 
not really thought about. It was a marvelous turn-on, for both of us, and as 
drop after drop of warm cum fell into his mouth from my asshole, his cock 
trembled and shook under his manipulations until I knew he was ready to 
shoot. 

"He groaned and gave one last tremendous suck on my anus, and then I saw his 
hand go still. His cock was pointed toward my face and I was hit with a gob 
of thick cream, and I opened my mouth, hoping that another would fly right 
in. Cum hit me on my forehead and my nose and cheek, but not on my lips. So 
I bent my head down and licked the gobs off of his belly, and then finally 
took the end of his penis into my lips and tasted the last of his load. I 
pulled my ass away from his face and he licked my cunt as I locked my legs 
around his head and sucked on his prick. We stayed like that, in that 
sixty-nine position, till we could barely breathe. I sat up and looked at 
Paul. He smiled a smile I'll never forget just as I'll never forget that 
fuck on the floor. 

"He had to rush off to rehearsal, and he said he would have trouble doing 
the show because his cock actually hurt! But he came back that night for 
more, and we did it in all positions-standing, sitting, lying down. He came 
in my ass a total of five times and we slept almost the entire next day. It 
was too good to believe and never once in that whole time did he attempt to 
fuck me any other way. 

"But a week later, when we were both drunk after meeting again in Vegas-it 
had been a difficult week of teaching, you can understand-we went back to 
his room and started to make love. We were getting to know each other now, 
and there was a certain closeness developing that was more than just sexual 
attraction. 

"Would you want to try a regular fuck?" Paul asked bluntly, but gently. 

"Of course, I immediately said no, and that got us into a talk that did me 
more good than I had hoped. Paul probed and pried and I started crying. I 
didn't want to remember anything bad in my life, and I had deliberately 
forgotten all the terrible incidents of my childhood so that they didn't 
exist any longer. But he finally got it out of me and I'll tell you right 
here what I told him. It was and is the clue to why I am what I am, and to 
what I can do to change that. 

"When I was thirteen, I went off swimming with my girl friend, Sally. We 
lived on a farm and I was used to taking off my clothes and running around 
nude in the woods and fields. Sally was afraid that, while down at the 
little lake at the end of our property, someone would run off with her 
clothing when she was in the water. We had an argument and she got mad and 
went home. Well, I wasn't ready to go home and I wanted to swim in the 
sunshine. So I stripped off my clothing and played in the water for about 
half an hour. When I got out, dripping wet, my towel and clothes were gone. 

"At first I thought Sally had come back and was playing a trick on me. But 
then I noticed something protruding from the bushes next to me and I gasped. 
A male penis-and I had only seen my brother's until this time-was standing 
out of the green, erect and long. I stared at it, transfixed, I wanted to 
touch it. I just reached out and took it in my hand. And, as I did, my hand 
filled with white liquid. 

"I heard a voice muffle a shout and the bushes rattled and moved and I kept 
my hand there as I felt the penis throb between my fingers. The liquid kept 
coming and coming, dripping down on the ground, and I felt a rush of 
pleasure through my young body, especially between my legs. I knew what I 
was doing was wrong and that I should have run home immediately, but I was 
glued to the spot, as if the forbidden aspect of the situation was keeping 
me there, in spite of all my apprehensions. 

"A male voice said, "Oh, Jesus!" over and over again. I held on tightly to 
the organ till it stopped spurting its liquid. I knew what it was-I had 
watched my brother secretly pulling on his cock in the barn some weeks 
before and his cock shot just like the one in front of me had-and I felt no 
sense of fear. I was excited. 

"Suddenly there was a noise behind me and I turned to find a tall man, in 
his twenties, standing there. He was fully dressed and he grabbed me by my 
shoulders. It was at that moment that I became scared and wanted to run. I 
grabbed his waist and wiped my wet hand on his shirt. He didn't like that 
and he ordered the other guy out of the bushes. A naked man stepped out-he 
was older than the guy in clothing-and smiled at me. 

"That was sure something," he muttered. He was holding my underpants in his 
hand, and often brushing them against his cheek. The other guy then told me 
to relax and he bent over and gently kissed me on the forehead. 

"I did relax, as much as I could. I was fascinated with this-it was my first 
sexual experience, and I had always been a daring person. I looked up at the 
man in clothing and asked him what he was going to do. 

"I want you to take off my clothes," he said in a nice tone of voice, "so I 
can be naked like you." 

"I opened his shirt and unzipped his pants. Finally I pulled them down 
around his thighs and was shocked to find he wasn't wearing any underwear. I 
stared at the huge thing between his legs. It was standing out from his 
body, pointing in front of him. It was much larger than the one I had held, 
and I wanted to touch it also and see it pour out its white liquid. 

"But he had other ideas. As soon as he was naked, he grabbed me and pulled 
me against his huge, hard organ. I trembled because he was rough. The other 
man didn't say a word. He just stood behind me, playing with his hard cock. 
The big man told me to lay on the grass, so I did. 

"Then he started to lick between my legs, lapping my cunt to work himself 
up, and despite the horror of the situation-or was it mere confusion at that 
point?-the feel of his tongue against my slit drove shivers of lust through 
my young body. I shouted and tried to get up, but the other-man held me 
down, kneeling above my head, letting his hard penis rub against my 
forehead. 

"The guy lapping at my cunt finally stood up and showed me how big his cock 
was. I couldn't believe it and when he took it in his hand I thought he was 
going to do what the other man had done-I thought he was going to make it 
shoot its white liquid. But instead, he knelt between my legs and told me he 
was going to fuck me. He said it wouldn't hurt. 

"I hardly knew what that meant, and I really became afraid. He held my legs 
down as the other man shouted at me to be still and spread my legs. I was 
still a virgin and my little cunt had never had anything in it other than my 
finger. The thought of him ramming that long pole into my body was 
incomprehensible-I thought I would be killed! 

"Please don't, please," I cried as he positioned his big prick between my 
legs. My shouts did no good-in fact they only made him more anxious and 
hotter. The men started laughing as he pressed the tip of his swollen cock 
to my little virgin pussy. 

"Just as he started pushing it in me, the other guy grabbed his penis and 
began working it over my face, so when I yelled he touched the tip to my 
lips. I screamed in pain as the invading cock tore the outer and inner walls 
of my cunt and then I felt a gush of hot liquid in my eyes. I remember the 
hideous laughter, the pain in my eyes, and the terrible sensation of 
bleeding between my legs. My throat gave out and I could no longer shout. I 
felt the banging until my entire being could no longer take it and I passed 
out. 

"When I woke, it was almost dark and there were bruises on my face and body. 
My legs were covered with blood and my eyelids were stuck together with 
dried semen. I walked in pain down to the lake and washed myself. I remember 
I couldn't stop crying and I told myself it didn't happen, it just didn't 
happen. 

"I've always tried to forget that awful feeling, the laughter, the pain. 
Only the terrible fear returned, not the full memory, each time I thought of 
regular intercourse. 

"But now I'm getting over it, with Paul's help. We ass-fuck most of the 
time, because he likes it as much as I do. Slowly but surely I'm beginning 
to relax when he puts his huge cock up my pussy. I think that I may even get 
to like it a lot. All I needed was to find a man, somewhere, who would make 
me stop trying to forget about that rape. 

"Now that I have found that man, I am happier than ever." 

In addition to Susan's eventual enjoyment of anal intercourse, which she 
probably will continue to employ as a method of sexual satisfaction, she had 
successfully made the first step toward a cure for her neurosis. In Susan's 
case, Paul has acted as her-albeit untrained-psychoanalyst. It will be, in 
all probability, too late for Susan to drop her anal activities altogether 
in favor of vaginal intercourse. However, anal intercourse will no longer be 
the compulsion it used to be for her. As such, we can safely say that Susan 
is making progress toward a more normal sexual life. 

CHAPTER TWO: Jacqueline-France 

"You American men! You just don't know what joys anal intercourse can bring. 
Not only for yourselves, but for your women, too. I have met Americans here 
in Paris and, with the exception of a select few, they all seem scared to 
death of anal intercourse. They look at me as if I'm crazy when I suggest 
it! Personally, I see no reason why we should not enjoy the pleasures of 
anal sex. We enjoy regular intercourse and oralism, n'est ce pas? 

"I am a bookseller here on the Left Bank. It is a good living. I enjoy 
meeting people, talking to them, sharing their thoughts and interests. And I 
adore the tourists-they love my Paris, they love me, and I love them. I love 
their bodies, also. You see, sex is a big part of my life. And I want it to 
be so. 

"I had my first sexual experience ten years ago at the age of thirteen, when 
we visited our family in the Loire Valley. My favorite cousin Jacques was 
fifteen at the time and we went for a walk in their enormous vineyard. Soon, 
we found ourselves sitting near a little stream in the sunlight. Jacques 
took off his shirt and lay back in the grass and started telling me of his 
recent sexual adventures. He knew quite a lot for his age and he certainly 
had a well-developed body. I watched him, fascinated as a big lump began to 
grow in his pants. 

"Go ahead, Jacqueline, take it out. It won't bite you," he said with a 
smile, leaning up on his elbows. I think I must have blushed quite a bit, 
because I had never touched a man's penis, although I had seen them and 
talked about them with my girl friends. I also thought of what it would be 
like to feel one in my hand-thoughts which became my best masturbation 
fantasy. Now my cousin was inviting me to make my fantasy come true. 

"I fumbled with the buttons on his pants, as he didn't help me. He just 
watched, amused. Finally I got them open. Reaching in, I wrapped my fingers 
around his organ-it was monstrous. Jacques just laughed and opened his 
buckle, sliding his pants down to his ankles. I stared at the huge thing 
between his legs. I'll never forget the sight of it there in the sunlight-it 
was the most beautiful sight I had ever seen." 

"Then Jacques spread his legs and told me to play with him, to touch him, to 
do anything I wanted. I was shaking because I was so excited. I thought, If 
only mother and father knew! I knelt between his outstretched legs and 
stroked his penis with my fingertips. Touching his balls lightly, I watched 
them move around in their sac. 

"Go ahead, it won't bite!" Jacques said again, spreading his legs a little 
more. Now I could see the hair between his buttocks and the opening to his 
asshole. Even then, in my first experimenting with sex, I was fascinated by 
the anus. Jacques lifted his legs and spread his cheeks, because he could 
see I was very interested in his ass. I touched there, at the opening and I 
heard him moan, and then he told me to put a finger in him. 

"I was shocked. Put a finger up his ass? I didn't know how. What finger? How 
deep? Wouldn't it hurt? But he guided me, applying saliva to my finger. He 
pressed it directly to the opening of his asshole and told me to force it 
in. I pushed and it was tight, but the muscle soon gave way and my finger 
slid up my cousin's derriere. The whole realization of what I was doing was 
overwhelming and I felt a tingling and a wetness between my legs. I watched 
Jacques as he moaned and wriggled on the grass in obvious delight as I moved 
my finger just a little, deep in his asshole. His penis seemed to grow even 
larger and he began to rub the skin up and down in his hand. The tip looked 
as if it were, going to explode. He loved what I was doing and then he told 
me to grab his cock and finger his ass at the same time. I did, pumping up 
and down his long organ with my right hand, while my left was under his 
asshole, with my finger buried to the hilt. 

"A few moments later, Jacques thrust his hips in the air and I saw his balls 
tighten. Then a blast of white cream shot from the tip of his penis and the 
muscles of his asshole seemed to lock around my finger. He shouted and I 
felt all strength go out of his body as he was wracked with spasms. A hot 
liquid covered his chest and belly, and poured down over my hands. I loved 
the feel of it and wondered what it tasted like, but I was too embarrassed 
to actually lick some of it. 

"But Jacques helped me. He sat up just as I pulled my finger from his hot 
asshole, and I lifted my other hand from his cock and saw that it was 
covered with white cream. I looked up into his eyes and he grabbed my hand. 
I was about to wipe it on the grass, and I didn't know why he took it. He 
lifted it to his mouth and opened his lips. Then he sucked off the semen. 

"I watched him, utterly fascinated and excited. He did what I wanted. He 
moved my hand to my lips so I could taste the come that was left I sucked it 
into my mouth-it was still very warm-and let it slide down my throat. Then I 
lay on the grass, trying to get my breath back. 

"To my surprise and delight, Jacques still had an erection and now he knelt 
next to me. I brought my hand up and touched it again. 

"Jacqueline, I don't want to hurt you or make you do anything you do not 
want to do. But I would very much like to fuck you. I know I will be the 
first, but I will be very gentle." 

"He was gentle and beautiful and powerful. I cried in pain, but also in 
pleasure, as I received a male organ into my small pussy for the first time. 
Jacques remained in me a long time before he actually came, which gave me 
time to get used to the massive invading member. When he did come, I thought 
my body had been flooded by some boiling liquid. It was an incredible 
moment, and I nearly fainted. He didn't pull out till his cock was soft, and 
then we moved down to the stream, where he gently washed and cleansed my 
pussy. 

"I remember one aspect of that experience that is important here because it 
has to do with my anus. As my cousin was fucking me, I felt blades of grass 
tickling my little asshole. I remember the feelings very well-so electric, 
pulsating, stimulating. As our bodies rocked on the grass, my asshole became 
inflamed with wonderful tingles of pleasure. I didn't mention it to Jacques, 
but I remember it to this day. 

"Let me tell you now about my first experience with anal sex. I was eighteen 
and I was helping Yvette, a dear friend, with her bookstall. One afternoon, 
a beautiful hunk of manhood walked up to the stand and bought a book. I 
thought he was an American, but it turned put he was French, though he had 
traveled around the world. He was my age, and had dark hair and eyes, and a 
deep-tanned body. I could see that under what little clothing he had on 
there was a tremendous body. And I also was very horny that particular day. 

"His name was Philippe, as I found out later. We talked about nothing for a 
few minutes, but we were very much on a sexual level of thought. Before I 
knew it, he had invited me to his apartment, a nice little place just off 
boulevard Saint Michel, on the rue Monge. His room had a balcony which 
overlooked a garden of beautiful flowers. He was a writer and I called him 
Hemingway, just to tease him. 

"He had said he wanted to get into something comfortable, so I sat on the 
bed and watched him take off his clothes. When he stood there in front of me 
in his undershorts, I knew that was the something comfortable he was talking 
about. I knew he expected me to do the same, and I could hardly wait. I 
stripped bare and lay back on the bed. I felt his eyes burning into my belly 
and cunt from the other side of the room. 

"What a beautiful pussy you have, Jacqueline!" he said in a husky voice. And 
without another word he pulled me to the edge of the bed and spread my legs 
apart. 

"Oh, Philippe, nibble on my sweet pussy, eat my cunt," I said. Talking 
during sex makes me much more excited. I think a person should say what he 
feels, or is thinking. 

"He pushed the tender lips of my pussy apart and kissed them gently. Then 
his long tongue swept between them and pressed firmly into my vaginal canal. 
He pressed his face as deeply into my crotch as possible and I thought he 
was going to suck my entire cunt into his mouth! My pussy ached for the feel 
of his lips and tongue on my throbbing clitoris, and in a moment he was 
there, biting on the hard nub till my head began to spin. 

"I felt a stream of pussy dew trickle out of the crack, into his mouth. I 
arched my body and wrapped my legs around his head, on his shoulders. I 
wanted to climax and I didn't want his mouth to pull away before I had 
reached it. I pushed up hard-too hard-and my cunt lips slid from his lips. 
Suddenly my asshole pressed to his mouth. 

"Philippe sucked on my anus like I had never been sucked before. He pushed 
his tongue up into it and I felt the muscles giving, felt the hot wet tongue 
invading that virgin place. I spread my cheeks as far as possible and 
brought a hand down to play with my pussy lips. His long, brown hair covered 
my cunt and I pushed some of it in my pussy, which tickled and gave me even 
more satisfaction. 

"He sucked my asshole in an unashamed and uninhibited way. I had been sucked 
there many times and I often used my finger there when I would masturbate. 
But now I was thinking of a man's prick being put up there-thinking of 
Philippe's strong young cock up there. He sucked on the most sensitive part 
of my entire body. He grabbed my ass cheeks and licked my asshole hard. He 
twisted his face and dug his nose and chin into me. I gasped in pleasure. 

"My fingers worked my clit till they were very wet and tired. My clitoris 
was swollen to a size I never had felt before, and I knew it was the ecstasy 
of the ass-suck that was doing it. I wanted the moment never to end, for it 
was incredibly beautiful. Then I came and my entire body was wracked with 
spasms. I moaned and as I did, Philippe slid his lips back to my cunt and 
sucked up all the vaginal fluids as I lay back in ecstasy. When he pulled 
his head away, my cunt hairs glistened with the mixture of his saliva and my 
fluids. I turned over and sighed. Philippe sat on the bed next to me. 

"That was the best I ever had," I told him honestly. 

"You like what I did to your little rear end, didn't you?" he whispered in a 
seductive voice. 

"I turned my head to him and smiled. He placed his hands on my ass and 
rubbed the cheeks. He told me how beautiful it was, how smooth, how 
unblemished. Then he kissed it, over and over, and I felt his hard cock rub 
against my side. 

"I want to fuck you in your beautiful ass." 

"Yes, I want it too. I want to have you shoot your load deep inside me, then 
I want to feel your come running down your cock till it drips out of your 
asshole." I was very excited. I turned over and looked at his cock. My 
entire body was inflamed in passion. 

"He grabbed two pillows and placed them on the center of the bed. I 
positioned myself on them. It was hard for me to believe it was actually 
going to happen. His big cock was going to slide up my ass! I had thought of 
it, dreamed about it, and now it was going to come true. What I wanted most 
in the world, sexually, was about to happen from this beautiful stranger. 

"The cheeks of my ass were elevated, ready to receive his giant member. I 
spread my legs as Philippe knelt behind me. The sight of my perfectly 
shaped, slender back and cheeky ass made his cock extra rigid. 

"I'm going to fuck your asshole, little girl," he whispered in passion. Then 
I felt his lips on my anal opening, as he applied saliva. He brought the tip 
of his cock to my ass. I shivered in anticipation. The head of his cock felt 
like a battering ram. I was afraid I wasn't going to be able to take it, 
that he would split me in two. 

"I'm going to fuck your asshole," he said again, now pressing the tip of his 
prick to my hole. He pushed forward and I winced. 

"Don't tighten up. The secret is to relax, just relax." He said it so 
gently, I let my body go limp. I tried not to think of the pain, only the 
wonderful feelings which were rising from that area of my body. And it 
worked. I felt the head of his swollen cock pry into my asshole. The muscles 
of the opening locked around it and he held it there, not moving an inch, 
till I could breathe regularly. I loved it and I wanted more, all of it! 

"Hold on, baby, I'm going to give you all of my love muscle!" 

"I held my breath and tried my best to relax, but I was so very excited! The 
battering ram of cock finally broke through all resistance and he pushed 
another two inches into me. 

"I cried out in pain and anguish-yet it was a cry of love, a cry of 
encouragement. I loved the hurt I was feeling and I wanted more. I even 
reached down and felt his cock entering me, as if to make sure it was really 
happening and not just a dream. It fascinated me that such a huge thing 
could actually be penetrating me from behind. 

"Then he pushed it all in ... I gasped. His cock was buried in my asshole, 
every inch of that huge organ! Then he pulled back and it slipped halfway 
out, and then he thrust it in again. 

"Going to fuck you crazy," Philippe said, battering his cock in and out of 
my virgin hole. The forceful thrusts of his prick into my rectum pushed my 
hips back and forth against the pillows. And as my hips moved, my cunt was 
also in motion. Thus, I received an anal fuck from the rear while my 
clitoris was rubbing back and forth against the pillows. 

"The saliva Philippe had applied let his cock slip in and out with ease, and 
the movement provided an intense friction which became a delicious feeling 
of ecstatic anguish for both of us. Soon Philippe was ready to ejaculate and 
I waited for it, wanting it, wondering what it would be like. 

"We exploded in unison. His cock seemed to burst inside me, just as I let 
the rush of slippery fluid and excitement flood me. He filled my asshole 
with his hot come, every drop of it, and I felt it beginning to seep out of 
my asshole-then it dribbled down my pussy. 

"Philippe pulled out of me and lay silently on the bed. I couldn't move. 
Tears formed in my eyes and I was filled with a feeling of fulfillment and 
satisfaction. 

It had been the best sexual experience of my life. I knew now what real 
pleasure could be like, and I have experienced it ever since. I think 
everyone should experiment with sex, all forms of sex, till they find what 
is right for them, till they find their favorite way of doing it. Mine is 
anal intercourse and often! 

"Philippe is still my friend and we often meet at a little bistro to talk 
away the night, or to go to one of our apartments and fuck. We like to 
include a third person, either a man or a woman, it doesn't matter. We have 
found that orgies-threesomes, bisexuality, call it what you will-are good 
and often much fun. Just last week Philippe and I performed anal sex for an 
American who was fascinated with it, but afraid to try it himself. But we 
did such a good job he masturbated and came twice-while watching us. I think 
now that he is back in America with his wife, he may be trying to get her to 
do something with her bottom that she never dreamed about before. 

"Life for me is an easy-going thing. I am in no hurry to do anything. And I 
do what I want sexually. There is nothing I like more in this world than 
having a nice big cock up my asshole. Oh, I enjoy sucking on them, tasting 
them, nibbling on them. I like a cunt-fuck now and then, too. I like just 
about anything. But those are all just preludes, just warm-ups for the best 
and most important thing: my asshole. I feel fulfilled and complete when 
there's something up there. And that something can be just about 
anything-fingers, dildoes, hair brushes, anything!-but preferably it should 
be a hard cock. 

"I get excited just thinking about it!" 

In the last chapter we discussed some of the points of libidinal and ego 
development, with particular reference to the anal-sadistic stage of 
development. Here, we are concerned with this level of development also. In 
the case of Jacqueline, who has experienced and still periodically enjoys 
vaginal coitus as a secondary source of pleasure, we are mainly concerned 
with the manifestations of penis envy and how this development is connected 
with anal eroticism. 

Helene Deutsch, writes in The Psychology Of Women: 

In one way or another, there is no woman in whom one could not discover some 
traces of the genital trauma in the form of penis envy. In some women, these 
tendencies are not active, in others they contribute to character formation 
and produce neurotic symptoms. 

Thus, penis envy is a normal development in the psychosexual life of a 
woman. It is merely a quantitative matter whether it will be aberrative or 
not. 

But penis envy is not the only manifestation of the genital trauma during 
the phallic or clitoral phase of maturation. During this phase, the young 
woman lacks an active organ through which she may release her aggressions. 
Her aggressions turn inward out of necessity. This is a normal occurrence 
for the character development of the female. Although she is psychologically 
ready at this time for her receptive and passive function, she is not ready 
anatomically. As we said she is organless, her vagina is not anatomically 
ready to take over and compensate for clitoral devaluation until it is 
penetrated by the male member. 

We find Jacqueline at this difficult phase in her life at the start of her 
story. She is confronted with all the ambivalent feelings so typical of her 
age. She is inhibited, which is emphasized in her fear that her parents will 
suspect her curiosity over her cousin Jacques' organ. On the other hand, she 
is anxiously awaiting her first sexual confrontation with a male. Thrust 
into this situation, Jacqueline succumbs to her womanly instincts. Finally, 
we find her completely given over to the idea of sexual pleasure, especially 
if it has anything to do with anality. 

It is difficult to form conclusive opinions with this scanty evidence. But 
we may assume that she is suffering from a hysterical identification, as a 
result of a traumatic experience, which has subjected her to the repetition 
compulsion. Consider Jacqueline's remarks with respect to her apprehension 
regarding her sexual activities with Jacques, and its closeness with the 
breaking of the incest taboos. It is evident that she had experienced a 
shock from this situation. 

Under normal circumstances, a young girl in her organless phase regresses to 
former psycho-sexual pleasure stages as a result of the genital trauma. In 
other words, until the vagina becomes the heir to sexuality, the anus 
becomes regressively activated as the primary source of pleasure. 

In reference to the reactivated anal stage, we must notice some 
characteristic differences between Susan and Jacqueline. The former is 
unable to develop genitality because of her conflict with the incest taboo; 
guilt is the predominant factor. With Jacqueline, guilt plays practically no 
role at all in her psychical makeup. Rather, she has succumbed to the 
repetition compulsion. Thus, we may assume that in Susan's case we are 
dealing basically with a fantasy wish, and in Jacqueline's case we are 
dealing with a real situation and an actual event. Although both cases 
present us with a traumatic psychical reality, the present case is beyond 
the pleasure principle and may even contradict this principle of mental 
functioning. 

Referring to the repetition compulsion, Freud wrote in Beyond the Pleasure 
Principle: 

It is clear that in their play children repeat everything that has made a 
great impression on them in real life, and that in doing so they abreact the 
strength of the impression and, as one might put it, make themselves master 
of the situation. But on the other hand, it is obvious that all their play 
is influenced by a wish that dominates them the whole time-the wish to be 
grown up-and to be able to do what grown-up people do. It can also be 
observed that the unpleasurable nature of experiences does not always unsuit 
it for play. If the doctor looks down a child's throat or carries out some 
small operation on him, we may be quite sure that these frightening 
experiences will be the subject of the next game; but we must not in that 
connection overlook the fact that there is a yield of pleasure from another 
source. As the child passes over from the passivity of the experience to the 
activity of the game, he hands on the disagreeable experience to one of his 
playmate and in this way revenges himself on the substitute. 

We mentioned that the phallic phase of development takes place usually 
between the ages of 3 and 6 in the female. The resulting psychical affects 
resulting from the genital trauma cause a regression. From approximately the 
ages of 6 to 12, the sexual desires are repressed. Freud has named this 
period the "latency period of sexual development." But during the puberty 
phase of physical development sexual desires grow stronger. This is similar 
in both sexes, and the objects of infantile love are re-cathected with 
libido. The result is the castration anxiety, which leads the male away from 
the mother or oedipal situation. The female's situation is complicated with 
the onset of menstruation. Thus, besides the re-cathexis of libidinal energy 
toward the mother, the old genital trauma is re-opened and she succumbs to 
castration anxiety. This anxiety leads the girl away from the mother. She 
devalues her and transfers her love to the father, hoping to get a child 
from him. These circumstances lead her into the oedipal situation. 

It is of interest to note that a woman's later love for her mother, after 
the trauma has passed, is proportionate to her ability to overcome penis 
envy and stop discrediting her mother for her narcissistic wound. Thus, if 
she is later able to love and identify with her mother, it shows that she is 
rather well adapted to her anatomical reality and a willingness to accept, 
her femininity. 

Just as a child is forced after his visit to the doctor to repeat the nature 
of this experience upon his playmates, in order to abreact, as in the 
Freud's example, Jacqueline is forced to turn this passively experienced 
trauma into an activity in a similar attempt to eliminate the elements of 
fear. In this activity, she is in a hysterical identification with her 
cousin and is repeating compulsively his sexual desires. Of course, there is 
another yield of pleasure stemming from the fact that the organ for 
gratification of sexual desires at the age of the genital trauma is the 
reactivated anus. Also in this activity she revenges herself symbolically 
upon Jacques, a fact which we cannot overlook. 

"I just returned from a holiday in America with my new friend and lover, 
whose name I cannot tell you because of political reasons. Pierre, a name 
I'll give him, is very high in the government and I must be discreet. 

"Telling you about him tells you much about me and proves a point-but more 
of that later. Let me tell you how we met. 

"I had closed the stand one day when a big black motorcar drove by. I did 
not really notice it till it circled the street and drove by quite slowly. 
Then I saw the license plate was of the government, and I wondered who was 
in it. It continued down the street till it came around again and stopped 
near me. 

"I turned and saw a man sitting in the back seat, smiling at me. He was very 
handsome and in his forties-a ripe, virile age here in Europe. I knew he 
looked familiar, but I felt embarrassed and turned away. 

"I walked a few steps, and the car followed me. I tried to think who the 
person was, as he looked so familiar to me. Then it came to me! If it was 
who I thought it was I knew I would pass out right there. I looked again and 
the man was still smiling. It was him, I was sure now. 

"I walked to the street corner and the chauffeur stopped the car just a few 
feet from me. The man motioned for me to approach the door, and I did so, 
after a slight hesitation. I wondered what he wanted-the thought of sex 
didn't occur to me immediately. I thought perhaps he thought he knew me. 

"He was very blunt. He introduced himself and said that he very much desired 
my body and would I be his guest for dinner? He would reward me handsomely. 
I didn't want any reward; I was no prostitute. However, I smiled and nodded 
my head. 

"Here is my card. Eight o'clock?" 

"I shall be honored," I said softly. 

"Oh no, it is I who shall be honored. What is your name?" 

"Jacqueline." 

"Jacqueline. Till this evening." He took my hand and kissed it, then the 
window rolled up and the car sped up the street. 

"We had a very delicious dinner, and then we retired to his bedroom. I 
wanted nothing more than to be naked with him. The excitement he generated 
in me was greater than with any man-partly because of his fame and position, 
but also because of his charm and kindness. I sincerely liked him, and we 
found it easy to converse with each other. 

"Once in the bedroom, he asked me to take off my clothing slowly so he could 
watch. He sat in a chair and I stood near the big bed. I removed my clothes 
ever so slowly. He became increasingly excited as I went on, and when I 
finally got down to my panties he opened his pants and pulled out a large, 
perfectly shaped cock. He held it tight in both hands, his eyes glued to my 
panties. 

"I turned around and pulled them down over my smooth buttocks. He moaned in 
satisfaction when he saw the crevice of my asshole, and I bent over just a 
bit to spread them so he could see between them. Then I turned around and 
faced him full-front. He stared at my pussy and then jumped to the floor 
and, in a kneeling position, buried his face between my legs. 

"I wriggled my body so nay panties fell around my ankles and stepped out of 
them. Lifting one leg into the air, my cunt lips were spread wide so he 
could eat all of it. Pierre was certainly an expert-he knew what he was 
doing. His tongue slid in and out of me with expertise, and my throbbing 
clitoris was all his. I put my leg down on the floor and spread my pussy 
lips wide with my hands, bending my knees (it reminded me of a dance class 
my mother enrolled me in when I was young) and pressed forward against his 
face. 

"Pierre followed my every move. His mouth didn't leave my pussy once, even 
as I moved into a stooping position in front of him. As I did so, I could 
feel my asshole was open wide just a few inches from the floor. He lay flat 
on the floor now, with his head propped up on his hands, lapping at my cunt 
like a little puppy dog. Then he moved one finger down to my ass and my 
entire body shivered. I gasped. 

"Ah," he said pulling his head away, "I have found the spot Mademoiselle 
Jacqueline finds most exciting?" 

"Ah, oui, oui," I said over and over. He looked up at me and smiled and then 
went back to my pussy. My cunt lips were wide open and I was already wet 
with my own fluids. The touch of his finger on my anus had done it, had 
started me off, and I knew there would be no stopping me! 

"Then he did it again-rubbed his finger lightly over the opening of my 
asshole. I wanted him to put it in me, so I could feel his tongue up my cunt 
and his finger up my asshole, but he only played there, teasing. Then he 
pulled his face away again and looked up at me. 

"Darling Jacqueline, I must eat your little bottom." 

"I lay back on the floor and lifted my legs into the air, grabbing my ankles 
with my hands. He came at me furiously and pressed his head against my 
spread ass cheeks. I screamed with ecstasy. His tongue wormed around in my 
anal opening, pushing lightly, forcing just the tip in. It brushed the hairs 
that lined the lips and even reached up to stroke my pussy lips. Then he 
tightened the muscles of his tongue as I relaxed the muscles in my body. His 
tongue poked into me and penetrated my hole. 

"The feeling was sensuous and exciting. I was lifted into a world of 
pleasure where nothing existed except sexual feeling. Saliva gushed out of 
Pierre's mouth and made the penetration easier. He pushed his tongue in as 
far as it would possibly go and I felt as though a cock were up there! 

"Fuck my asshole with your tongue," I cried out. 

"And he did so. He grabbed both cheeks of my ass and rubbed them in his 
hands. With his stiffened tongue, he shot a tongue fuck into my asshole with 
such intensity and fury I thought I was going up in flames. My clitoris was 
erect and I reached down and felt it with my hand and manipulated it as he 
pierced my asshole with his tongue. 

"I started to tremble and my body was covered with goose pimples. The 
sensations I was now feeling in my asshole were unlike any I had ever 
experienced. I knew it would be the best climax ever, the most satisfying, 
the most gratifying. I stiffened and cried out my pleasure. 

"The dam broke under the flood. My vaginal walls poured out their 
secretions, they dripped down over his face, but he didn't stop. His tongue 
was still sliding in and out of my asshole. It wasn't until the sensation 
was completed that I finally relaxed and had to pull his head away from my 
asshole. I think he would have sucked on it all night. 

"His cock was stiffer than ever. He stood up and quickly took off his 
clothes. I was surprised-and happy-to see a very well-developed body, with 
strong arms, a hairy chest, and enormous balls. He fell to his knees on the 
floor next to me and positioned himself over my body. I opened my mouth and 
he moved his hanging balls over my lips. Then he came down and I took them, 
sucking them into my warm wet mouth, as he had sucked on my asshole. I 
caressed them with my tongue and he moved his body up and down, so his balls 
were actually fucking my mouth! Finally, I could no longer keep my mouth 
wide open, and he moved off and held his penis above my face. I kissed the 
tip of it and then he began to caress and rub my face with it. He held the 
head in his fingers and rubbed it gently over my forehead, over my eyelids, 
over my soft cheeks and lips. A drop of clear fluid fell from the tip onto 
my cheek and he wiped it all over my face with the head of his cock. It 
dried there, coated on my face. Then I took his cock in my mouth and let him 
fuck my face. His balls slammed against my chin each time he shoved the huge 
member down' my throat. Even then I was thinking about it going into my 
asshole. 

"I sucked him till he nearly came. He pulled out and bent down and kissed 
me. Then he moved his face to my breasts and nibbled on each hard nipple, 
murmuring soft words of love. 

"I'm going to fuck you," he finally said, again kissing my face. 

"Where?" I asked, reaching down to grasp his hot cock. 

"Anywhere you would like, dearest Jacqueline," he replied, already knowing 
where I wanted it. 

"I think you know where." 

"Ah, oui, I think I do know very well." 

"Please, do it now ... please fuck my ass!" 

"I hadn't had anal intercourse in some three weeks and I was dying for it. 
We positioned ourselves in front of a wall mirror, so I could watch what was 
happening. Pierre positioned me by placing two big pillows under my 
midsection. This raised up the cheeks of my buttocks. Then I spread my legs 
apart and the cheeks of my ass parted and offered my anus to him. Pierre got 
on his knees behind me and applied lubrication to his cock and then to my 
asshole. It was cold and mushy, but it added even more excitement to the 
already ecstatic situation. 

"His huge prick was now poised directly over the cheeks of my ass. I could 
watch the entire action in the wall mirror in front of me. And while I felt 
terror-stricken, as I always do when a cock is entering my behind-it still 
adds to my excitement-I watched with interest and great anticipation. 

"He nestled the head of his cock between the cheeks of my ass. The feeling 
of his cock there unleashed waves of lust throughout my entire body, and I 
could again feel my clit budding and swelling in my pussy. 

"Pierre pushed and the tip of his cock entered my asshole. I braced myself 
and bit my lips. He applied his pressure with a firm even stroke, pushing 
the walls apart to admit the rest of his cock. It was much thicker around 
the base and it became more difficult to get into me. 

"But he did. He started thrusting and hammering away like a madman. My 
sensations of pain were very slight. The fucking movement in my asshole 
filled me only with pleasure and a great feeling of completeness. My eyes 
were glazed with lust. I gave up looking in the mirror and closed my eyes to 
enjoy the feeling of electricity generating from my anus. 

"We began to synchronize our movements, pushing and pulling, fucking the 
living shit out of each other. The cream widened the hole and made our 
labors of deep penetration easier. I thrust my ass upwards each time he 
rammed his penis into my hole, and the narrow walls of the passage finally 
permitted fast, easy strokes of fucking. When the entire length of his cock 
was buried in me, I reached down and felt his balls hanging down over the 
bottom of my pussy lips. I rubbed his testicles and he moaned, and then 
started fucking again. Our bodies were wracked with incredible feelings of 
power and excitement. All I could think of or feel was that magnificent 
spear of flesh that had punctured the hole of rear-end love. That spear that 
was now all the way in me! 

"Pierre's penis began to swell up to an even greater length and thickness. I 
knew his cock was going to come in my asshole any minute, and that's when I 
let everything go and no longer tried to restrain myself. And so, with our 
minds awhirl, and our spirits soaring crazily around the intense sexuality 
of the scene, his genitals blew out the secretions of his passion. The hot 
torrent of come quickly filled my rectal passage to capacity and then 
spilled over the hole and leaked down the cheeks of my ass. When the last 
bit of semen had spurted from the tip of his enormous cock, it softened and 
slid out of my asshole. 

"Neither of us could say a word. There was nothing to say. It had been 
perfect, we had not been afraid to do what we liked best. He didn't state 
it, but I knew he loved to fuck a girl in the ass just by the way he 
performed. It was doubly great for we had reached orgasms at the same 
moment. 

"As we lay there on the floor of his sumptuous bedroom, it occurred to me 
once again just who he was and another shiver of excitement ran down my 
spine. I wondered if I had pleased him enough to have him invite me back 
again? 

"My answer came the next day. He rang up and asked me to a party the 
following weekend. I accepted. It was one of the most memorable evenings of 
my life. The party was attended by famous government people, painters, movie 
and stage stars, writers. I felt honored to be with one of the most 
sought-after bachelors in the country-or in the world, for that matter. Many 
women stared at me in envy and I thought to myself, go ahead and stare-you 
would only want vaginal intercourse with this man-you would not know how to 
please him! I felt very proud and very lucky. 

"After the party I thanked him and he asked me to spend the evening at his 
house. "I already have an erection just thinking about your lovely 
buttocks," he said in the back seat of the car. 

"I reached over and grasped his penis through his pants, and played with it 
all the way to the house. We stripped off our clothing immediately upon 
entering the bedroom, and he applied the lubricating cream to his cock while 
I positioned myself on the bed. He did it facing me, so we could kiss and he 
could fondle and nibble on my breasts. I held my legs in the air till his 
cock had been shoved all the way up my ass, then I locked them around his 
powerful shoulders. 

"He moved in slow, even strokes until his cock swelled and finally shot! I 
felt every moment, every spurt, every move. He filled me with his hot liquid 
and his tongue searched out the deep recesses of my mouth. Then he pumped 
his cock some more and his-come spilled out, wetting the bed. 

"I gasped as he continued fucking me even after he had come. Then I felt his 
fingers digging between us, finding my clit in all its wetness. Soon he was 
playing with me and he brought me off and kept his cock hard the entire 
time, still fucking my asshole. It was an amazing evening and I felt even 
closer to him. 

"I knew I was falling in love. I didn't reject the thought. I only hoped he 
felt the same. But it was difficult to tell because of his position and of 
his need to be discreet. I received beautiful gifts from him and he sent me 
money for a new and beautiful apartment. I didn't feel these things were 
payment for my services. They were gifts from someone who liked me very 
much. It was all going so well! 

"But then I started to be mentioned in columns of the newspapers and one of 
them even did a story called "Who Is She?" No one could find out who I was, 
as I never gave an interview. I considered my private life very private, 
indeed. But it upset Pierre and soon we had to discuss it. Many people had 
linked us romantically, we had to come up with a past for me, I had to have 
some importance. It is a long story, but we made up some things and people 
believed them. Then we went to America and had a wonderful vacation. The bad 
part of our relationship-the only bad part-began last week, after we had 
returned. 

"We had little time alone in America, thus we had little sex. Every now and 
then, between appointments, we would be able to get in a quick anal fuck, 
but it was rare. We were both looking forward to our return to Paris so we 
could again live a less hectic life and be able to have sex at our leisure. 

"Pierre's best friend Tomas, actually a distant cousin, dropped in soon 
after our return. He had been in Spain for a few years, and he asked Pierre 
for a place to stay for a few months until he got some money together. 
Pierre invited him to stay at the house, and since I'm always there, we have 
become a threesome. 

"This would be fine with me, but the first time we shared in sex-and I liked 
it because Tomas is young, good-looking and has a powerful cock-I knew it 
would never work. Tomas hinted that he did not approve of anal intercourse. 
Instead of talking about it and getting him to try it, as I would have done, 
Pierre pretended to agree with him, so we had a night of straight oral and 
vaginal sex. Tomas is not afraid to take Pierre's cock into his mouth, nor 
is he afraid of fucking my mouth while Pierre fucks me. He will do 
anything-anything short of analism. 

"When we were alone, I begged Pierre not to be a hypocrite. But he thought 
Tomas would look down upon him for our deviation. Deviation! I never 
considered any form of lovemaking a deviation. But Pierre wanted it kept 
secret, because should Tomas tell others ... 

"One evening after Tomas had been having sex with us for a few days-and he 
was good at it, I'll admit that-he invited another girl to join us. The four 
of us had a good time, but the evening did not include anal sex. Oh, there 
was some kissing of assholes, but no penetration by the male organ. 

"The nights left me with an increasing passion for anal sex. Pierre fucked 
me in the ass after breakfast one morning, when he saw how upset I was. I 
just stood up and lifted my nightgown to my waist after the servants left 
the room. He dropped his robe and put butter all over his cock. Then, as I 
bent over the croissants and jellies, he shoved his cock into my asshole and 
pumped me till I came. Just after we had finished, Tomas walked in, I wished 
he had come in a minute earlier! 

"And this is where I am and this is where I leave you. I love Pierre very 
much, but I am very afraid that the gap between us will widen. If he cannot 
be honest with his friends regarding all matters, including sex, then how 
can we have an honest, loving relationship? If my desires and his own 
desires mean so little to him, then I should want no part of that man. 

"But I love him and cannot break. Instead, I have been forced to do 
something else-I have been seeing other men, men who will stick their hot 
cocks up my asshole and give me what I need, men who care nothing about what 
people think. We hear so much about women's liberation these days. I think 
we should hear more about the liberation of self! If a person wants and 
prefers anal intercourse, he or she should practice it, whether or not 
friends or the world approves. You must do what you desire. 

"I only know that I feel my best when there is a big cock driving up my 
asshole, ripping me apart, filling me, making me burst with its load of hot 
come." 

A prognosis in this case is an extremely difficult task. Jacqueline's 
well-being is dependent upon her ability to recognize her enslavement to the 
repetition compulsion. Possibly, the abreaction of this event will have a 
therapeutic benefit, but certainly not a complete one. Other factors also 
come into account here. First of all, her fixation upon the anal stage of 
psychosexual development, and, secondly, the infringement of the incest 
taboo, even if it had only a small effect upon this aberration, still plays 
a part. 

But most important are the circumstances of Jacqueline's credo of life. She 
expresses herself in the words, "You must do what you desire," and has a 
tendency to depreciate her love objects for their inability to follow this 
philosophy. The question is whether or not she has actually formed, in any 
of these relationships, a love transference. Her sexuality is almost purely 
dominated by her desire for pleasure. Affection plays a very limited part in 
all of these alliances. Unfortunately, we have no knowledge of the 
relationship between Jacqueline and her parents, and this information is 
imperative before we can form a conclusive prognosis ... 

CHAPTER THREE: Antonio-Italy 

"My mother died when I was only three years old. We lived on a farm just 
outside Naples, a big sprawling place where my father, my two older 
brothers, a younger sister and I learned the rigors of hard work and 
religion. My father was very strict in both aspects, and although I 
appreciate it, I also wish he had paid more attention to our schooling. When 
my father married for a second time, I was twelve years old. 

"We needed a mother and he needed a wife. Rita was a Widow and childless, so 
father could give her what she needed-children and a husband. She was a 
pretty woman, but she was big! She had gigantic breasts and her ass jiggled 
as she walked. She never wore any underpants. She was a good, fun-loving 
woman with incredible energy, doing the work of five women and doing it 
well. I remember her as being the best cook in the world! At least, the 
world of my life. 

"My brothers had told me about sex when I was still quite young, so I was 
pretty worldly. They were quite proud when hair grew on their genitals, and 
their cocks began to grow. I was envious, of course. But then, when I turned 
twelve, I began to change rapidly. My little cock thickened and lengthened, 
and a thatch of dark hair appeared around it. My balls got bigger and my 
voice lowered. It was happening a little earlier to me than to most of my 
friends, but I loved it because I was the center of attraction. I felt very 
masculine and grown up. 

"One night, after Rita had said good-night, we were all in our beds on the 
top floor of our house. My brothers started talking about Rita and told me 
they had watched her bathing that afternoon and they proceeded to describe 
her body and the size of her nipples and cunt. They pulled their covers back 
and revealed their hard cocks, and began playing with themselves. They told 
me to do the same. I was already hard when I pulled the covers down to 
reveal myself. They were surprised at the size of my cock-it was already as 
big as Frederico's, my oldest brother. 

They came to my bed and we all knelt on it, facing the center. We had a 
contest to see who would ejaculate first. I had never done this, but during 
the past few weeks I would wake up and find dried cream in my underwear. So 
I tried, but I couldn't seem to do it. I must have been nervous. My brothers 
both came and I was fascinated. I rubbed their balls for them as they pulled 
on their cocks, which helped excite them. Finally, after they had wiped the 
come off themselves and my bedcovers, I told them I could not yet do as they 
had done. 

"I do not believe you," Frederico said. 

"I have tried!" I told him honestly. 

"You have not tried everything!" he said. I didn't know what he meant, but I 
soon found out. He told me to lay back on the bed and think of a beautiful 
woman. I couldn't think of anyone but Rita, especially Rita's beautiful ass. 
All of a sudden I felt something warm and wet encase my penis. I opened my 
eyes and looked down; I saw Frederico sucking on my cock! I couldn't believe 
it! We had often played with each other, but we had never done such a thing. 
I had never even seen such a thing being done, although Frederico often told 
me his girl friend took his cock into her mouth. 

"My other brother told me to relax and to close my eyes. He knelt down at 
the side of the bed and ran his fingers over my well-developed chest and 
down to my balls and between my legs to my asshole. The feelings were like 
none I had ever felt before and I started to tremble. Frederico sucked hard 
on my penis and gave me pleasure I didn't know I could feel. In a few 
minutes I was sweating and I felt as if my cock were about to burst, to 
explode with warmth! 

"I moaned and almost began to cry as my body was wracked with spasms and my 
cock released its load. Twelve years of my life went out of me at that 
moment and I knew now that I was a man. I filled Frederico's mouth till he 
choked and swallowed all of it. I finally lifted my head and looked down. He 
looked up, with my softening cock still in his mouth, and smiled. It was a 
moment I'll never forget. I loved my brothers for teaching me those things. 

"A few weeks later, my brothers and sister went to Rome for a week to stay 
with my grandparents. I had a bad cold so I was not allowed to go. I didn't 
mind though, because I loved the farm and I liked being alone. When my 
chores were done, I would often walk up to the top of the big hill in the 
center of our land and look down at the river and the ancient aqueducts. 
Then I would take off all my clothing and run naked in the sun, or sit and 
eat grapes and cheese as my body grew dark tan. I would masturbate there in 
the sunshine, and then masturbate again at night in my bed. Sometimes I 
would do it five times a day. I could not get enough of it, could not climax 
enough to satisfy me. I wanted a woman. 

"One day I returned to the house very dirty. My father had gone into Naples 
for the day and Rita had just cleaned the house, so she wouldn't let me in 
without bathing. 

"Antonio, you take your clothes off and wash in the tub!" she called to me. 
I turned and went into the bath house, stripped and got into the big old tub 
filled with warm water. 

"All of a sudden, without any warning, Rita came in. I tried to cover my 
cock with my hands, but I had an erection, and it was difficult to conceal. 

"I need the soap for the kitchen floor," she said, and I believed her. But I 
thought I saw a glimmer in her eye as she looked down at me in the tub. She 
found her soap in the cabinet on the other side of the room and when she 
turned around she was staring at my back. 

"I had been up to the top of the hill with a small bottle of vino, where I 
had been laying on my back in the soil. Rita noticed the dirt on my back and 
neck. 

"Antonio, how did you get so filthy! I'm going to wash your back, give me 
that sponge!" 

"No, I can do it myself," I protested in vain. She knelt next to the bathtub 
and soaped up the sponge. 

"I have a right to wash your back. I'm your mama now! Since when did you get 
to be so modest?" 

"She scrubbed my back and the feel of her hands on my naked flesh sent 
tingles up my spine. My cock erected to its fullest. I could no longer 
conceal it with my hands. I removed them and I blushed as Rita's hands 
stopped moving on my back and just rested there. 

"She stared down into the water for a moment, saying nothing, and then 
continued rubbing my back. 

"Antonio, you are quite a man already! You should have a girl friend like 
your brothers." 

"I suppose, Mama," I replied. I began to feel more at ease and my cock 
softened a bit. It floated on top of the water between my legs. I was 
beginning to enjoy the feel of her hands cleansing my body. 

"Have you been playing with yourself when you think of girls?" she asked, 
washing my arms. 

"Oh, no," I lied. She scowled and started to laugh. Her whole body shook. 
"Why do you laugh?" I asked. 

"I know what the priest says, but I also know what young boys do. Your 
brothers play with themselves. I have seen them in the barn one day! So I 
bet you do the same." 

"Well ... sometimes," I admitted. There was no fooling her. 

"Don't be ashamed, Antonio. The priest is wrong, it will not hurt you. 
Everyone does it. I did it till I met your father. It is a natural part of 
living." 

"Suddenly I became very brave. "I masturbate often, sometimes twice a day. 
Even three times." 

"Well, you are quite a boy for your age," she said, and dropped the sponge 
into the water. She had finished with my arms and back and she smiled down 
at me, took one last look at my cock, and left the room. 

"Just talking about it got me excited again, so I jacked off. 

"The next afternoon a very strange thing happened to me. I went to the hill 
after finishing my chores. It was an extremely hot day and I wanted to swim 
in the river. I took off my clothes on the top of the hill and ran down 
naked, until I came to the bottom. Then I ran into the water-it was very 
cold-and flipped over and over, refreshing myself. When I walked out of the 
water onto the river bank I was startled to see a woman sitting there 
watching me. 

"I covered my nakedness with one hand and shielded my eyes from the sun to 
see who it was. I had never seen her before, but she was quite good looking 
and about twenty-five or thirty years old. She was sitting with her legs 
drawn up and her naked pussy was visible to me. 

"I stared in wonder. Who was she? What was she doing there? She put her legs 
down and leaned back. Her white blouse shined in the sunlight and I could 
see the dark spots where her nipples touched the material underneath. 

"Do not cover yourself! You are a very beautiful boy. I enjoy looking at 
you!" she called to me. 

"I was shocked, but I listened to her. I moved my hands from my penis and 
stood naked in front of her. My body was still dripping wet as I walked 
toward her. 

"I am visiting friends about a mile up the river. I went for a walk and saw 
you bathing here. I am Maria. Come here, don't be afraid." 

"I walked to within a few feet of her. I brushed some of the water from my 
hair and said, "I am Antonio. We live just over the hill." 

"You are very exciting for a woman to look at, Antonio. How old are you?" 

"Almost thirteen." 

"She couldn't believe it. "You are kidding me! I would swear you are at 
least sixteen! You have a cock bigger than my husband's!" 

"I looked down at my penis. It was hanging full in front of me. I didn't 
know what to say or do. But I didn't have to wonder for long. She reached up 
and took my cock in her hand and held it tight. 

"My cock became hard almost instantly. Holding on to it, she squeezed it 
until it began to hurt. Then she let go and caressed my balls with her 
fingers. I loved the feeling, and I moved my body closer, spreading my legs 
a bit so she could get between them. Then she found my asshole with her 
fingertip and rubbed it gently. My cock stood straight out in front of me. 

"Then she lay on the ground and put her legs up. She pulled her dress to her 
waist and exposed her hairy cunt before me. It was a beautiful sight and I 
instinctively grabbed my cock as I knelt down between her legs, looking at 
it, feeling very excited. 

"Antonio, when I lift my legs into the air, I want you to put your cockhead 
on my anus, understand?" 

"I nodded. I would do anything she wanted. 

"But first, come here and let me suck on you for a minute." 

"I moved quickly and knelt down next to her face. She opened her sensual 
dark lips and fitted them around the head of my cock. I held her hair in my 
hands as she moved her head up and down on my shaft. The feeling was better 
than when Frederico had done it and the way she played with my heavy balls 
while she did it caused even more sensations of pleasure in my young body. 

"Finally, just when I realized I was getting ready to shoot, she pulled her 
head away and told me to go to her bottom. I got up and moved between her 
legs again, kneeling there with my wet cock in one hand. She lifted her legs 
high and pulled her feet over her face. Her pussy and asshole were spread 
before me as I moved the head of my cock down and braced myself with one 
hand. 

"I placed the head of my cock against the pink opening of her anus and she 
gasped. "Antonio, push till the head goes in just a little. Then make it 
come, make it shoot! I want to feel your hot young cream in my hole and all 
over my ass!" 

"Her words excited me more than anything ever had. I pressed the tip of my 
cock into her ass and to my surprise the muscle gave way and it entered 
without any problem. Then I moved my hand up and down the shaft. It was so 
very strange, not seeing the head of my cock, but masturbating on it at the 
same time. Her shouts of ecstasy were echoed by the valley. 

"In a minute I filled her with my semen. I pumped squirt after squirt into 
her and watched as it seeped out around the top of my cock and ran down her 
asshole. She brought one hand down and rubbed my come all over her pussy and 
her tummy. Her face was flushed and happy. And I could see a trickle of 
clear fluid coming out of her pussy. 

"As the last spurt of come shot from my cock, I knew I couldn't stand it any 
longer. The stones in the ground were digging into my knees and my body was 
trembling. I had a great desire to fuck her, to shove my cock all the way up 
her ass. I had never fucked anything or anyone before and I was desperate to 
know what it felt like. 

"So I did. I took my hand away and shoved my hips forward. Maria let out a 
scream which could-almost have caused the aqueduct to collapse! I let my 
body fall to hers and her feet wrapped around my back. My cock slid in 
because of the lubrication of my semen and another surge shot through my 
body. I was getting harder again and I felt even more excited. 

"Fuck me! Hard! Fuck, my asshole, little big boy!" She shouted and clawed at 
my naked back. I pumped my ass hard, shoving my long cock in and out of her 
wet asshole. In a few moments I felt my pressure rising again and I let 
loose with a powerful orgasm that filled her once again. My cock went soft, 
and my mind was spinning. I finally pulled out of her and rolled over on the 
ground. 

"We were silent for a few moments and then she sat up and straightened her 
dress. "Antonio, you must have lied to me about your age. No boy of thirteen 
can do what you just did. Thank you, beautiful Antonio." 

"I asked her how long she would be in the area. She said till the day after 
tomorrow. 

"Then I could see you tomorrow, yes?" I asked with anticipation. 

"Yes, surely. Here, tomorrow afternoon." She stood up. 

"Yes, Maria. I will be here." I stood up also. She bent over and kissed me 
on the forehead and started up the river. I watched her until she was out of 
sight. I resisted the temptation to masturbate then, for I was still very 
excited. But I knew I would have to save myself for the next day. I jumped 
in the river, then ran up the hill and got dressed and went home. All 
excited. 

"It was difficult to return the next day because Rita wanted me to help her 
clean the barn, and I pretended to be feeling terrible, telling her I would 
do it the next day. She believed me and I took off early in the afternoon 
for the river. Maria met me there and we took off our clothes and played in 
the water until we were so excited we couldn't stand it any longer. We stood 
in the hot sun on the river bank and held each other tightly. 

"I wanted to do the same thing we did the day before; I wanted to put my 
cock up her asshole. I had thought about it all night. I woke often, finding 
it hard to sleep, and played with myself, touching my cock and asshole, 
which sent shivers up my spine. It seemed very natural for me to fuck her 
ass again. I didn't even think about her pussy. 

"Suck on my nipples," Maria said to me, pushing my head down to her breasts. 
They were hard and I pulled them into my lips and licked them with my 
tongue. She was very pleased and she returned the favor by sinking to her 
knees in front of me and taking my hard cock into her mouth. She sucked on 
it for a minute as I stood with my hands on my hips, with my legs spread in 
the sandy soil. The sun beat down and I was in heaven. 

"She moved her head off my cock and started licking my balls. I shuddered as 
I watched her lovely face under my long thick cock, lapping my testicles. 
She sucked them into her mouth and swirled them with her tongue, and then 
she licked my thigh and brought her hands up to my ass cheeks. 

"Turn around, Antonio," she ordered. I wondered what she was going to do. I 
turned around so my ass faced her. She kissed it and let her tongue slide 
down between the cheeks. 

"Now bend over slowly," she said, and I did. "Oh, you are so hairy in 
between!" she exclaimed happily. Then, when I was facing the ground, she 
kissed me directly on the opening to my anus and I thought I would faint! 
The sensation was incredible! She licked and sucked and buried her head 
between the cheeks of my ass. She spread them with her hands and then moved 
her fingers down between my legs and began pulling on my cock. I nearly 
came, but held back for what was to follow. 

"I want to fuck you," I said as I stood up. She smiled and lay back on the 
ground, naked, spreading her shapely legs. I knelt between them. But she did 
not pull her legs up as the day before. 

"I know," I said, "why don't you turn over and I'll put it in from behind!" 

"Antonio, I want to have you fuck me normally! In my cunt!" 

"I thought about it for a moment and felt at once disappointed and afraid, I 
don't know why, I just did. I tried to put my cock in her pussy but I found 
that my erection had fallen down to such a point that I couldn't. She begged 
for it, but I just couldn't do it. 

"All right, we will try the other. I want your beautiful hard cock in me 
anyplace I can get it!" And then she lifted her legs and I saw her asshole, 
hot and gleaming in the sunlight. I put my cock to the opening and it got 
hard as a rock immediately. I shoved with all my might and entered her. We 
fucked there on the ground till I came. 

"After I pulled out, Maria took my half-hard penis in her lips again and 
sucked off all the come. I let her keep doing that until I knew I was ready 
to shoot again. I fell back to the ground as she knelt on all fours, sucking 
me as hard as she could. When I exploded in her mouth, I opened my eyes and 
looked up. There, on the top of the hill, was the figure of a woman watching 
us. And I could tell that figure was Rita. I didn't say anything to Maria, 
but I'm sure she felt my alarm. Rita was gone almost immediately, but I knew 
it was going to be hard facing her. 

"I never saw Maria again after that day, but I will never forget her. I tell 
you about her because it is only a preview of what's to follow in my life. 
You see, I have never-with the exception of about three cases when I was 
very drunk-been able to keep an erection for vaginal intercourse. I can fuck 
an asshole or a mouth and come six times in a row, but I cannot do it with a 
pussy. It amazes me that I was already that way at twelve years old. And it 
has always worried me." 

Possibly the easiest way to get an understanding of this situation is to 
deal with Antonio's homosexual acts first and then progress to the other 
aberrations. 

Antonio's first experience of orgasm was with a member of the same sex. This 
is by no means a novelty, in fact this type of experience may be found in 
the childhood of many adults. Freud accounts for this paradox by explaining, 
in many of his writings, that there is a constitutional factor both 
psychologic and physiologic which indicates the natural bisexuality of the 
species. For instance, he wrote in Three Essays on the Theory of Sexuality: 

A certain degree of anatomical hermaphroditism really belongs to the normal. 
In no normally formed male or female are traces of the apparatus of the 
other sex lacking; these either continue functionless as rudimentary organs, 
or they are transformed for the purpose of assuming other functions. 

However, Freud does not believe that this natural physical hermaphroditism 
explains homosexuality. Bather, he attributes the etiology to a fixation of 
the libido due to early affective sexual impressions, which cause a clinging 
to the erotic significance of the anal zone and a narcissistic object choice 
as the most essential characteristics of sex inversion. Thus we must 
recognize that somatic hermaphroditism and inversion are totally independent 
of each other. 

This idea does not contradict the later findings of psychoanalysis that the 
human is virtually psychically bisexual in his early infantile 
relationships. It is the heterosexual identification with our parents which 
converts this original bisexuality. This identification implies a 
desexualization, which makes this bisexual energy available for 
transformation under advantageous circumstances into a general love for 
mankind as an example among other possible sublimations. 

The psychical components of this infantile bisexuality are expressed by 
Freudain his book Leonardo da Vinci and a Memory of His Childhood: 

There was once a time when the male genital was found compatible with the 
picture of the mother. When a male child first turns his curiosity to the 
riddle of sexual life, he is dominated by his interest in his own genital. 
He finds that part of his body too valuable and too important for him to be 
able to believe that it could be missing in other people whom he feels he 
resembles so much. As he cannot guess that there exists another type of 
genital structure of equal worth, he is forced to make the assumption that 
all human beings, women as well as men, possess a penis like his own ... 

That the penis could be missing strikes him as uncanny and intolerable ... 
[But eventually] ... he conies to the conclusion ... that little girls too 
have a penis, but it was cut off and in its place was left a wound. Under 
the influence of this threat of castration, he now sees the notion he has 
gained of the female genitals in a new light; henceforth he will tremble for 
his masculinity. 

We notice many points for comparison with the ease of Antonio. First of all, 
he exhibits quite an interest in his penis and values it quite highly, 
possibly even more so than is usually the case. We also know from a 
statement of his stepmother, Rita, that the priest speaks unequivocally 
against the practice of masturbation. This represents a feature of many 
cultures and it is usually perpetuated by parents or other moral 
authorities. 

The individual develops a castration complex, then, from these three facts: 
(a) the female genitals, (b) threats centered around masturbation, and (c) 
the threat emanating from the incest taboo. 

We see that Antonio cannot achieve coitus. His libido is fixated at the anal 
point of psychosexual development. From this fact we may assume that Antonio 
is unable to achieve vaginal intercourse because he fears the female organ, 
it implies the threat of castration. 

If this castration complex is a normal manifestation of the human, as we 
assume, why does Antonio's case produce aberration, whereas the normal boy 
has an advantageous outcome? The answer to this question is of paramount 
importance in understanding Antonio. 

His first sexual experiences are introverted. This is by no means unusual; 
the bisexual impulse at a later date succumbs to sublimation in normal 
individuals, as we have discussed. 

Why did this not happen to Antonio? He gives us a clue when he tells us: 

"I really got into ass-fucking the day after my experience with Maria. I 
avoided Rita that night and didn't talk much at supper. The following day my 
father went to Naples on business and Rita and I were again left alone. I 
was out in the yard when Rita called me from her bedroom window. 

"Antonio, come up here!" 

"She was completely naked when I entered the room. "Close the door and lock 
it," she ordered. I obeyed. I was becoming very excited. Her body was not 
nearly as fat as I had thought-it was big, but solid. And her ass was nice 
and mushy. I stood against the door, looking at her sprawled on the bed in 
front of me. 

"I watched you yesterday. I want what you were giving that woman," she said 
softly. 

"But you are my stepmother," I responded, already feeling my cock harden in 
my work pants. 

"That should make it all the more exciting. I want you to stick that 
oversized cock of yours up your stepmother's ass. Your daddy refuses to do 
it!" 

"I was breathing hard and heavy as I began to unbutton my trousers. They 
dropped to the floor and my hard penis sprang up. 

"Give it to me, Antonio! Do what your brothers only dream of doing!" And at 
that moment she looked positively beautiful lying there. I wanted to fuck 
the living shit out of her. I wanted to be a man and show her what it was 
like to get fucked in the ass. 

"She turned over on the bed. "Suck my hole, bambino," she said, spreading 
her legs on the bed. I moved to her slowly, rubbing my cock with my hand. I 
was terribly excited. I saw the hairs between her ass cheeks and spread them 
with my hands as I knelt between her legs. Then I bent down and licked just 
once over the entire area of the puckered anal opening. 

"She squirmed and started panting. "Antonio, I haven't been fucked in my 
bottom for months! Your daddy has a nice cock and he knows how to ram my 
pussy, but he won't give it to me there. 

"Oh, Antonio, yes that's it, suck it nice ... " 

"I did my best. I licked and bit and pushed my face between the huge cheeks. 
I darted my tongue deep within the cleavage and tasted her rectal hairs. 
Shivers raced through my entire body as the tip of my tongue flicked back 
and forth through them. Then I stuck my tongue out as far as it would go and 
I pushed at the opening. It entered and slid into her. The inside was moist 
and hot and I pulled back and did it again. My head reeled at the 
realization that I was actually sucking my stepmother's asshole-and I was 
not even thirteen years old! 

"Oh, Antonio, tongue-fuck my asshole! Oh, you beautiful, beautiful child! 
When I'm good and hot I'll let you stick your big cock up my ass. Then I 
want you to shoot off and blow it in my ass." 

"Rita moved her hips upwards and I moved my fingers underneath her and 
placed one of them inside her pussy lips. It was wet and warm in there and I 
began to wriggle it around, which she liked. Then I found a hard little nub 
and when I rubbed it she squirmed and cried out in pleasure. I didn't really 
know what it was, but I knew I was doing something right. I ate her ass and 
moved my finger in her cunt until she could stand it no longer. She moved up 
on her knees and I followed, never taking my mouth from her rear end. 

"Fuck my ass, Antonio! Fuck it with your finger first!" 

"I hadn't thought of that. I had often worked my fingertip inside my own 
asshole when masturbating, but I hadn't thought of finger-fucking Rita. I 
pulled my face from her ass and wiped it with my hand. Her asshole was 
shining with my saliva and I placed my finger there and played around a 
little. She begged me for it and I shoved it in slowly all the way. She 
groaned a low, deep sound and I knew I had accomplished what she wanted. 

"I slid my finger in and out of her asshole until she told me to put two in! 
I pushed two fingers up-I was utterly fascinated! I grabbed my cock with my 
other hand and began stroking it. It felt bigger than ever. 

"Rita asked for three fingers. It was difficult getting them in, but I 
finally did. I fucked her like that till I thought I would die of 
excitement. I was really entranced by the sight of my fingers sliding in and 
out of this woman's asshole! It was hard to comprehend that it was actually 
taking place-in my father's bed yet! 

"Antonio, I can't stand it! Your cock! I want your cock!" 

"I pulled out my fingers and wiped them on the bed. Then I bent down and 
applied more saliva to her ass with my mouth and positioned my cock on the 
opening. Rita suddenly went silent, ready and waiting for it. The touch of 
her asshole on my cockhead was electrifying-for both of us! 

"Then I pushed forward; she was still silent, holding back all sounds to 
feel my cock sliding in her. The head of my penis pushed at the opening. It 
was difficult. The muscles were tight, but I finally got it in and the tip 
of my swollen cock disappeared and was enclosed by the rubbery walls of her 
anal canal. She let out a deep groan. 

"Antonio, I am in heaven ... I am in heaven!" she called out as I slowly 
pushed the rest of my cock into her asshole. I felt the walls expanding 
under my force, clinging tightly to every inch of my long cock. I held her 
ass cheeks with both hands and watched myself enter her. 

"Finally I gave one last lunge and my pubic hair pressed against her ass 
cheeks. My balls swung and hit her big cunt. I was in-all the way in. My 
penis was buried up the asshole of my stepmother and now I was going to give 
her a fucking she would never forget. 

"Oh, I'm bursting! I'm bursting!" she shouted, bouncing her head up and 
down. She reached down with one hand and grasped my balls and held them in 
her hand. I shivered at her touch and pulled my loins back, drawing my cock 
out of her asshole. She pulled my balls forward and my body went with them, 
shoving my cock all the way up her ass again. Then she released her hold and 
stuffed her hand up her pussy. 

"I went to town. I pulled out and pushed in with long, easy strokes, giving 
her a chance to get used to it. I know she wanted and needed a rough fuck, 
but I wanted to get her all warmed up first. It was strange; I felt as if I 
had been doing this all my life. Actually it was only the second time. But 
at that moment I felt as if I were in full control and she was under my 
power. No longer was she my stepmother. She was a woman giving herself to 
me. 

"Oh, yes, Antonio, slide that nice long cock way in there ... that's it ... 
" 

"I'm gonna fuck you, Rita!" I yelled and then slammed my cock all the way up 
her. My balls banged against her hand, which was still stuck in her cunt. I 
did it again and again until she lowered her head to the pillows and began 
to moan. This is what she wanted. 

"Mercilessly, I became carried away, inflamed with passion, hysterical. I 
wanted to come with such a load as to make her actually explode! I wanted 
her asshole to ache for weeks. Every time she took a shit, I wanted her to 
feel the pain that would recall the moment when I filled her ass with hot 
come. And I wanted her to want that pain again and again so w do it over and 
over. Wouldn't my brothers be surprised it they knew what was going on? 

"She moaned and cried and loved every minute of it. Just before I shot, she 
trembled and squealed, and then, immediately after that, she took her hand 
from her pussy. I later realized women could come, too. She braced herself 
and begged me to shoot. And I did. 

"I think I shouted also, although I can't remember. I know I had trouble 
keeping from falling over. I stuck my cock up her ass so hard it felt as if 
my pubic hair and half of my lower body went with it! 

"My come shot out like gunfire! My body bounced on the bed, and my balls 
shook as they exploded the come up my shaft. My cockhead jumped inside her, 
and the come poured down the shaft and dribbled out over my balls and her 
cunt. As she felt the first few burning sensations, she let her body 
collapse on the bed and I fell with her. Because her ass was so full of 
come, my cock was forced halfway out of her asshole. 

"But that made it all the more exciting because her cheeks were now encasing 
the lower part of my cock and they felt almost cold compared with the heat 
of her anal canal. I shot the last few jets of thick sperm into her asshole 
and then I pulled out and let my hard, throbbing cock rest between the 
cheeks of her ass. 

"Rita was sobbing on the bed. I wondered if it was from joy or from guilt, 
and then I figured it was a bit of both. I know that I only felt excitement. 
Sex was something that everyone should share, I thought, as I had shared it 
with my brothers. I felt no restrictions regarding family, although Rita and 
I were not really related. I think Rita felt guilty because of my father. 
Also, I had done the very thing she wanted her husband to do, and that must 
have weighed heavy on her mind. 

"I moved from the bed without a word. She was crying softly now and I knew 
it was best to leave her alone. I went to the bath house and washed my body. 
Then I went out for a walk to my favorite place on the hill. I fell asleep 
there and didn't come back until the sun was going down. I had supper with 
father and Rita, and he never guessed a thing. 

"I told my brothers about my experience with Rita one night when we were 
masturbating together. They both were interested and it made for a good 
fantasy for them. They didn't believe me, however. I told them I could prove 
it. So the next time Rita and I had anal intercourse, I made sure they were 
hiding in the closet, watching every bit of it. 

"We kept our relationship going for a month, until one day I mentioned to 
her that Frederico would like to ass-fuck her. She was horrified that I had 
told him, but she finally relented. She knew he had a good body and she 
wanted his big cock up her ass when she thought about it. He fucked her hard 
and expertly while I watched, and while Rita sucked on my cock. I came in 
her mouth at the same time my brother came in her asshole. 

"Soon, all three of us boys were fucking Rita in the ass almost twice a 
week. My father knew nothing of it. If he had, I think he would have killed 
us all. He was a very proud man. 

"Things couldn't go on forever and the day came when I wanted to go off on 
my own, to get away. I was sixteen. My father wished me well and I left home 
to wander around the countryside, seeking a new life and loves. 

"I roamed the country for almost six years. I worked when I needed money, 
met people, made and lost friends, and enjoyed life. Finally, I felt the 
need to settle down. The wandering part of my life was over, and I knew I 
wanted to be a farmer like my father. He was getting old now, so I went back 
to visit him. 

"I stayed with my father and Rita for almost a year. At the celebration of 
my sister's wedding, I met a girl-Margherita-whom I liked very much. Rita 
liked her also, and we invited her to dinner with the family. My brothers 
were both married already, so our family grew in numbers. 

"Shortly after that, as I was dating Margherita, father suffered a heart 
attack and was unable to work any longer. Rita took good care of him, and I 
took good care of the farm. He told me if I wanted it, it was mine. I gladly 
accepted, and soon after that Margherita and I were married. 

"Margherita claimed that analism excited her. She had only been fucked in 
the ass once in her life, but she had been desiring it again. The first time 
I did it to her I thought I had hurt her badly, for she almost passed out 
from pain, and we had to stop. But soon after that we tried it again and it 
worked beautifully. She loved the feel of my hard cock up her ass-and my 
cock had certainly grown since I was twelve. She took it with great pleasure 
and excitement. This was just before we were married. We never tried a 
vaginal fuck because, I think, in the back of our minds we could hear the 
priest telling us no intercourse before marriage and we avoided cunt-fucking 
until the wedding night. 

"I was very drunk that night. So drunk I can't remember much of what 
happened. I guess we went up to our room when most of the guests had gone 
home. I took my clothes off and fell on the bed. My cock was hard and 
Margherita started nibbling on it. Then she climbed on my cock and shoved it 
up her cunt. I must have grabbed her and responded, because she said I did 
it with great emotion and feeling. We rolled over and over on the bed until 
I had pumped a huge load into her pussy. 

"It was more than a month after we were married that she began to want a 
vaginal fuck. I was giving ... it to her in the ass almost every night, but 
I noticed her growing more and more dissatisfied. I would eat her pussy till 
she was ready to faint. I would lick her ass and fuck her with my tongue. I 
would let her suck me off any time she wanted. But I didn't want to fuck her 
in her cunt. 

"We tried it and it didn't work. I could not stay hard. So we went back to 
anal intercourse. It seemed, however, that all of the excitement and 
enthusiasm evident in our sex life before we were married had disappeared. I 
grew very uncomfortable. Then she started telling me I was not a complete 
man, that I was sick in my mind. Nonetheless, I believed she loved me as I 
loved her. It was that I just couldn't satisfy her any longer. 

"I became very distressed. Rita was too old, she could not take it any 
longer. Margherita was so very disappointed in me. Masturbation was not 
helping much, either. I would take walks to the hill, sometimes hoping I 
would meet Maria by the water, or someone like her. I needed to fuck women 
in the ass, but I had none to fuck. I was so desperate I thought of taking 
my brothers' wives and ass-fucking them. 

"Margherita finally told me one day that she wanted to have a child. I did 
too, very badly. I was a young man with a successful farm. I would love to 
have children roaming the fields, as I had done with my brothers for so many 
years. The thought of making a baby did get me sufficiently hard one more 
time in order to fuck Margherita in the cunt. She sucked my cock till it was 
very stiff and then I shoved it in her. I thought of her ass, pretending 
that I was fucking her asshole, and then I shot off. But there was no baby. 

"I couldn't do it again and we grew further and further apart. I was uneasy 
being near her, so Rita and my father wondered what was wrong. I think 
perhaps Rita knew, but I couldn't bring myself to talk to anyone about it. 
Often I went into Naples to search for a girl, any girl, who would be 
willing to take my huge cock up her ass. It happened frequently that I ran 
into a girl who told me she would do it, only to turn me down at the last 
moment. They seemed to be afraid of the size of my cock-those prick-teasing 
bitches, telling me that I would tear their assholes to bits with my raging 
hard on. 

"I began to drink heavily, becoming impossible to live with. Finally, I 
found one whore in town who loved to get my big, hard cock shoved up her 
ass; we saw each other every weekend. I would slip my cock up her ass and 
fuck the living daylight out of her. I would come in great spurts and, right 
away, we would start all over again. We did it just about everywhere. I 
fucked her standing up, sitting down, on our sides-every way short of 
standing on our heads. She did not charge much, and I enjoyed her ass. 

"Then Margherita found out and called the parish priest, who in turn gave me 
the usual lecture about the sins of the flesh. I told him my wife had made a 
mistake, that I didn't do the things she accused me of. Anyway, the whole 
thing became ridiculous. I wanted to ass-fuck, and my wife refused me. I 
left the farm soon after, and have not yet decided whether I shall return. 

"I have been living in Rome now for almost seven months. I work wherever I 
find it, but I am not happy. I have relatives here, but I do not want them 
to see me. With no education, it's difficult to get a good job. I see 
Frederico-he alone knows where I am-and he gives me money and tells me he 
loves me. I am still his little brother. And women want me, usually older 
women. Although I am strong, young and handsome, I can't give them what they 
want, being afraid to even try as much as I would like to. Frederico tells 
me Margherita waits for me still. I want to return to her, but only when I 
can satisfy her. 

"I must tell you what brought me to you and made me spill out this long 
story. Last week I got a little drunk. I was walking down near the Via 
Barberini when I saw a very young girl who appeared to be in her teens, 
standing in a doorway. Standing with her ass to me. I could see she was 
wearing a very short skirt. As she looked over her shoulder, she smiled very 
seductively. I stopped, my cock began to harden in my pants as I watched her 
pull her skirt up just enough for me to see the crack of her ass. 

"She walked in the door and left it open. I followed her up the stairs to a 
small room with only a bed and table on which a candle was burning. She lay 
on the bed with her face down. After closing the door, I lifted her skirt so 
I could see her ass. 

"It was flawless, shapely, perfect. I bent down and kissed it, massaging it 
with my hands. Then I undid my pants and let them fall. She watched from the 
bed and put out her hand. I moved my cock to her palm; her fingers wrapped 
around it. I shuddered. It felt so good. 

"She pointed to a little jar of lubricating cream on the table. I handed it 
to her and she scooped some of it up with her hand, gently applying it to my 
cock. She rubbed up and down until my cock was very greasy. Then, she turned 
and buried her face in the pillows. She spread her legs just slightly and I 
knew she was ready for my throbbing cock. 

"I knelt on the bed and fell on top of her, kissing her hair and neck as I 
rubbed my cock down the crack and across her asshole. She spread her legs 
and, with one hand, she gently guided the head of my hard cock to the 
opening. I braced myself on the bed and looked down between us, watching her 
hold my shaft as I pushed it into her. She opened up for me immediately, 
and, with the aid of the cream, I slid into her fully, completely. 

"I fucked quickly as I was very excited. I shoved my cock in and out of her 
ass again and again. She held to the headboard and moaned softly. There was 
something about her that excited me in a strange way. She felt different 
from any girl I had ever had before. I hadn't seen her face closely, nor had 
we even talked. She had her dress on-only her skirt was pulled up over her 
asshole. It was the strangest situation I had been in, and I found it very 
stimulating. 

"Then I came and her body shot up against mine as rush after rush of hot 
come filled her rectum. I collapsed against her body and stayed there for at 
least ten minutes, as my cock softened in her asshole. It slipped out with a 
slurping sound, and I sat up on the bed and let it hang between my legs. 

"I turned and rubbed my hands over her ass one more time. She was breathing 
normally now, but I couldn't take my hands off that beautiful ass! I moved 
my fingers down between her legs and felt something full and heavy. Then, my 
head reeled as I realized what had happened! As she turned over, a soft, big 
cock flopped in front of me. She was a he! 

"I sat there in shock as he sat on the bed and smiled at me. Looking 
closely, I saw that the boy had very pretty, feminine features. His hair was 
long, as many boys wear it these days. He had makeup on and a dress. What 
could I say? Still in disbelief, I looked down at his cock. I jumped up and 
ran out of the building. 

"I felt sick. After returning to my room, I fell into a deep sleep, and 
experienced a nightmare-I fucked my brother in the ass! 

"What is happening to me? Was it that I had liked that fuck? It had been a 
good one, I feel, but I wanted to run from it. 

"The next night I went back. The boy was standing in the doorway dressed as 
a girl. We went to his room, where he took off his dress and wiped the 
makeup from his face. Again, I fucked him. When it was over, I felt 
terrible. 

"I will go back again, I know, although I really don't want to. I want to 
return to my Margherita. But I feel afraid of all women now-even afraid of 
myself." 

A nightmare, such as Antonio had, always reveals conflict-a desire, always 
sexual, and the intense struggle against this tendency. We see that in 
Antonio's nightmare, as well as in real life, his desires only knew 
gratification. Normally, the inhibitive force would lead to sublimation. 
This can fail to occur because either the sexual instincts are too strong 
for the inhibitors, or the inhibitions, which are formed upon the 
identifications with the parents, are undeveloped. 

Antonio's bisexual desires, reinforced by his brothers' sexual advances, led 
to the repetition compulsion. Antonio turns this passively experienced event 
into a pleasurable activity. He is possessed of his activity and unable to 
drop it, even when he desires to, in order to save his marriage and have 
children. Thus, we see that he does not lack a heterosexual identification. 
His hopes lie in this direction, but he is unable to fulfill them. 

This identification contains elements belonging to the father's prohibition 
against incest. But this does not interfere with Antonio's desire for his 
stepmother. We may assume that this sexual experience with Rita reawakened 
and intensified the oedipal situation. In the desire for his stepmother, he 
risked his father's punishment, i.e. the threat of castration. Under normal 
conditions, the castration complex leads the young man to surmount the 
oedipal situation, leading to exogamous relations. 

But this doesn't happen with Antonio. He regressed to the anal-sadistic 
level, and, as if in defiance of his father, he fulfilled his incestuous 
desires. In a symbolical sense, he deposed his father, as did Oedipus, and 
became King. 

The castration complex did not have a normal outcome in this case, but that 
does not mean that it lost its terrifying aspect. It was just defended 
against, but instead of repression and sublimation, it had another fate. 

We do not know the manifestation of Antonio's ego defenses, only the 
ramifications of his libido. The anus became the center of libidinal 
activity for him. As it is possessed by both men and women, Antonio was able 
to defend against the perception of what the female genital implies in the 
oedipal situation, namely castration. 

It appears that all of Antonio's sexual motivations were in defense against 
the castration complex, i.e. his homosexual tendencies. Thus, all of his 
love choices were narcissistic. He chose an object similar to himself 
because he needed reassurance against castration. 

We have seen that Antonio's bisexual energy was never desexualized and his 
incestuous longing never sublimated. He was unable to come to terms with the 
female sexual organ. In fact, all his libido was dominated by defense 
measures to mitigate the threat of castration. His brothers were also 
regressive in character, and it seems that, by their advances upon Antonio, 
they predisposed him to aberration. However, this is only an appearance. If 
Antonio's brother was able to sublimate his homosexual libido, why was 
Antonio unable to? The answer lies in the fact that Frederico did not have 
relations with Rita while he was caught in the onslaught of puberty, which 
awakens the sexual feelings which have been repressed during the latency 
period. Frederico's intercourse with his stepmother did not have the full 
symbolical meaning of incest. 

It appears that, based on our knowledge gained from our libidinal 
investigations, Antonio has a tendency to blame others for his deeds. Every 
experience he has was through the provocation of another. He would have us 
believe that he was innocent on all these occasions. 

First of all, it was his brothers who assaulted him as did Maria and Rita. 
He is the hero who makes the valiant attempts at hetero-sexuality for his 
wife, even though he fails. Even with his new homosexual object, he is 
fooled and remains innocent because he thought he was a she. But the dream 
reveals to us his true core and feelings, he is a homosexual, because this 
is needed as a defense against the intense threat of castration provoked by 
incest. In other words", he has the tendency to project his own guilt onto 
others. This becomes a major cause in the perpetuation of his aberration, 
another defense against castration and the realization of his true self. 

CHAPTER FOUR: Mei-Ling - Formosa 

"Although I'm now thirty years old and married, I should go back to the time 
I was only seventeen and tell you an experience I had with my girl friend, 
Lin-Piao. She was pretty and we were very close. You might have called us 
rebels at that time, because we could not accept all of the teachings and 
view points of our elders, who were of the old tradition. 

"Lin-Piao and I were in Taipei with our families for a youth festival. These 
were days of dancing, sports and great festivities. We participated in 
everything we could. 

"During this time, there was a boy staying with the neighbors. His name was 
Ching Yeh. He was about twenty, very handsome, quite tall and strong. On the 
second day of the festival, he sat near me at a banquet and offered me a 
flower to wear in my hair. I was certainly attracted to him. 

"Lin-Piao had also seen the boy, only her view was much more exciting than 
mine had been. In the large bathing house one night, she was walking by 
where the men were bathing. Through the window she clearly saw Ching Yeh, 
standing naked except for a towel over his shoulders. Later, she was able to 
describe to me in detail every feature of Ching Yen's body. We became giddy 
and silly for our minds were filled with visions of this handsome boy. 

"We had invented a game of guessing just how big a certain man's organ was, 
and we often played it using movie stars or people we read about. But there 
was no need to play this game on Ghing Yeh. Lin-Piao had seen his penis, and 
she told me it was the biggest one in the world. She could imagine no one 
bigger. 

"One night, when everyone was away at the festival, I went walking toward 
the bathing house when Ching Yeh came up to me in the yard. 

"Why, Mei-Ling, are you not with your parents?" 

"I did not feel well and received permission to remain here, as did 
Lin-Piao." 

"He smiled and I sensed he knew I was not telling the truth. I blushed and 
said, "Yes, I feel fine. We didn't want to go, that's all." 

"Ching Yeh began to laugh. "I told my uncle the same thing!" 

"That's very funny," I told him, laughing still. Lin-Piao came out into the 
yard to see who I was talking with. Her eyes flashed with surprise and 
happiness. I invited Ching Yeh to visit us after I had had my bath and 
before our parents would return home. 

"He accepted, turned, and went back into his uncle's house next door. I 
walked to the deserted bathing house and quickly stripped off my clothing. I 
was very well-developed for my age and often I was called beautiful. 

"I stepped into the water, which was scented with oils and salts. It was 
very refreshing and even stimulating. I felt my breasts harden and I touched 
my fingers to my nipples. A rush of excitement shot through my slender body. 
I fell back in the water and let my long black hair float freely in the huge 
tub. I reached down and rubbed my hand between my legs. I thought of the 
handsome Ching Yeh and what he really looked like naked. I imagined I could 
see him standing at the edge of the room, near the mats by the door, 
stark-naked. I saw his long penis hanging in front of him, and, when I 
beckoned him to join me in the water, he moved slowly towards me, his penis 
rising and strengthening ... 

"Suddenly I became aware of eyes staring at me. I turned and looked at the 
door. My daydream had come true, although not as vividly as I had hoped. 
Ching Yeh was standing in the doorway, but he was dressed in a long white 
robe. I could see through the silken material. His torso was outlined in the 
dim light, and there was a very dark spot where his torso and legs joined. 
In the middle of that darkness was a long crease down the front of the robe. 
I gasped and moved under the water to my neck. 

"Mei-Ling, I have come to ask you if you should like me to wash your 
beautiful hands ... your beautiful shoulders and your lovely back." He did 
not wait for a reply. He walked to the edge of the pool and bent down, 
grabbing a bar of soap in his hand. 

"I moved slowly in the water and soon I was next to him. He reached down and 
touched my wet hair and brought some of it to his mouth and kissed it. Then 
he knelt and rubbed the soap over my arm and shoulder. He rinsed me in the 
clear water. Then, I stood up, revealing my breasts to him. The water began 
to steam as the room became cold from the night air-a very romantic scene. 

"Won't you join me?" I asked. 

"His eyes lit up. He stood up, looked down at me and smiled. Standing there, 
towering above me he reminded me of a god. And when he pulled his robe over 
his head, I knew he was a god! Many inches of thick soft cock hung between 
his legs. Although soft, his cock was as big as any man's erect penis. He 
stooped down, giving me a long close look at it. I reached out and touched 
it with my wet fingers. 

"Do you like it?" he asked. 

"It is most beautiful. I should like to kiss it," I said, holding its head 
in my fingers. 

"I would like that very much," he whispered sensually, putting his hand on 
my head. Slowly, ever so slowly, he pulled my head to the place between his 
legs as I held his cock up to face me. I kissed it on the tip, where the 
opening was, and I felt a surge between my fingers as it began to thicken. I 
pulled my head back and watched as it doubled in size before my very eyes. 

"It was gigantic when it reached its limit. Its head was solid and looked as 
if it were about to burst. The skin was the softest I had ever felt-it 
reminded me of a newborn baby's skin. This softness seemed to contrast with 
the hardness of the penis itself. I was fascinated that something could be 
so hard and soft at the same time. I tried to wrap my hand around it but I 
couldn't. I kissed it again and this time opened my lips enough to take in 
the head, sucking gently. I felt no revulsion to do this for him. We were 
taught the ways of making love to men when still young. It is a beautiful 
and great thing to be able to give the male pleasure, and one of the highest 
pleasures is to take his organ in your mouth. 

"I felt the heavy rolling sac hanging almost to the ground as he squatted 
near the side of the tub. His cock bounced upward as I pulled my lips from 
it. He slipped into the water, with my arm still between his legs. I rubbed 
his balls as he placed his arms around my shoulders. Bringing my hand up, I 
took the end of his enormous penis and squeezed it tightly. He groaned a 
sigh of pleasure and kissed me gently on the cheek. 

"Then he took my breasts in his hands and felt them, rubbing them, pinching 
the nipples. He bent down and sucked one into his mouth, and then the other. 
They were hard as rocks, tingling. When he stood up, I let go of his cock 
and it sprang up between us. He pressed his body to mine. I shook at the 
idea of that huge battering ram entering my body. 

"He placed his penis between my legs and I held tight to him, bounding on 
it. The tip stuck out so far between the cheeks of my ass that I could reach 
down behind me and fondle it. I felt as if I were sitting on a hard piece of 
wood! It was an amazing feeling. My pussy quivered as the cock touched its 
lips. But the electric feeling came from my asshole. 

"My anus had always been a place of great sexual stimulation for me, but I 
had never had anything enter it other than my finger. I had heard stories-so 
had Lin-Piao-of girls who put various instruments up their rectums. We heard 
of the pleasures of anal intercourse, but I had never tried such things. 

"However, my curiosity was intense. I wondered what it would be like to take 
a man up my anus, and when I masturbated, I often thought of this. It always 
made my climax much more intense. Lin-Piao had once watched her parents in 
the midst of anal intercourse and had related that the look in her mother's 
eyes while her father was fucking her in the ass was one of absolute 
pleasure. This thought remained in my mind. 

"Suddenly, when his huge cock touched the opening of my ass, I knew that I 
wanted it there. But I could not tell him this. He would determine what it 
was that we would do, what kind of sexual encounter we would have, and I 
would obey. I was under his power romantically, too. He was so beautiful I 
think I would have done anything he asked. If he wanted me to suck his ass, 
I would do it. If he wanted to fuck me, my body was his. And if he wanted to 
put his long cock up my virgin anus, that would be even better. 

"Mei-Ling, you are beautiful! I would like you to get out of the water so I 
can look at you in the light." 

"I climbed out of the tub and stood looking down at him. My long black hair 
was covering most of my breasts and I pulled it back so he could see them. I 
spread my legs so he could see the fullness of the lips of my young pussy. 

"The water churned in front of him as his hand roughly pumped on his cock. I 
smiled down, and he motioned for me to turn around. I did so, showing him 
the smoothness of my buttocks. The water, still dripping off my body, looked 
like golden drops of honey in the soft light. 

"Mei-Ling, please bend over. I wish to see between your lovely ass cheeks." 

"I obeyed, and spread the cheeks of my ass before his gaze. I heard him 
getting out of the water, and I started to get up, but he called to me to 
remain as I was. In a moment he was kneeling behind me and I felt his 
breathing near the opening that was spread in front of his eyes. 

"I gasped as his tongue lightly circled the opening to my anus. He didn't 
actually touch the hole, just around it. He licked and tickled me with his 
tongue and lips. He covered my ass with kisses and then finally moved his 
lips to the center and roughly pushed his tongue directly into the opening. 
The lips parted just a bit before the unexpected invader, and I gasped in 
absolute delight. I had never felt anything more exciting! 

"He began to suck on my asshole until I thought I was going to fall over 
into the water. His tongue darted in and out of my asshole and he sucked on 
it with all his might and power. Finally, he pulled back and stood up. The 
tip of his cock now rested where his lips had been. Telling me to stand up, 
he held his gigantic organ with one hand while the other reached around me 
and grasped my breasts, fondling them and rolling the nipples with his 
fingers. 

"You have never had a man in your anal channel, have you?" he asked, 
wriggling his cock between the cheeks of my ass. 

"No," I replied in a sensuous whisper. The feel of his hard cock there was 
pushing me to the stars. 

"You would like a man to make love to you there, wouldn't you, Mei-Ling?" 

"Oh yes, Ching Yeh, yes." 

"You would like it to be me, yes?" 

"Oh yes, Ching Yeh, I would be honored. You have the body of a god." 

"Then he turned me around and looked into my eyes. "Will you come into the 
water once again with me, my beautiful flower?" 

"I will obey any wish," I said, and I meant it. I had consented; I had given 
myself. I had to obey his every wish. 

"We returned to the warmth of the water and he held me tight to his body. 
His cock was still rigid, pressing against my soft skin. I did not know what 
position he wanted me to take-in fact I did not know if he meant that we 
were to do it there in the water or not. But I soon was instructed. 

"Ching Yeh asked me to lean against the side of the tub, with my back to 
him. "Let your body rest against the side, hold to the top with your arms. 
You must not fight me even if I cause you pain." 

"Oh yes. I do not care if it hurts. I want you to love me ... " I could 
think of nothing but what it was going to feel like. I was anticipating the 
greatest thrill of my life. 

"Mei-Ling, beautiful flower, it will hurt you at first. But the pain will 
soon subside. The warmth of the water will soothe you, and the warmth of our 
love will encase us in joy. I want to put my semen into your body, deposit 
it into such a thing of exquisite beauty. I will be the first to put it in 
your beautiful tight anal love-canal." 

"There were no more words to be said. He placed the head of his giant penis 
directly against the opening of my asshole. I spread my legs wide and rubbed 
against the side of the tub. He steadied himself on the floor of the tub and 
pressed his loins forward. It would not enter. 

"Mei-Ling, spread your legs a bit more. Now breathe deeply and evenly as you 
do in meditations. Now I will enter you." 

"He pushed with such masculine might that I feared I would break open. It 
seemed that my entire backside was split, burning, opening in the wake of 
his huge, driving penis. He pushed it into me, stopping about halfway. I 
screamed in pain-I hated myself for doing so because I had promised him not 
to. But then it subsided and I regained control. As the room came back into 
focus, I suddenly began to feel a sense of incredible pleasure lifting my 
spirits and physical excitement. I had never felt anything like it-it was 
better than I had ever imagined it could be. 

"He placed his hands on my shoulders as he pushed inch after inch of mammoth 
cock into my asshole. I moaned for it was both pleasurable and painful. 

"Sweet flower, I love you. I am going to fuck you here in this water, fuck 
you till my balls explode with their gift, fuck you until I shoot my juice 
deep within your body." He pressed forward and pushed another inch into me. 

"Again, the room started to spin. "Ching Yeh, it is too big, I cannot take 
it!" I protested in a small voice, for I had little breath. I was sure he 
would never be able to get the entire length of his cock into me, but I 
could feel it deep in my belly already. Yet, I wanted every inch of it in 
there. 

"You will take it all ... you will be fucked by it all." 

"When he gave the last final shove, my body slammed against the wall of the 
tub. I slipped and thought I was drowning, although my head and arms were 
above the water. I was drowning in a sea of pleasure! He held me up, for I 
had gone limp, as his cock pulsated deep within my virgin asshole. I could 
feel him in there-it was a most amazing sensation. I reached down, still 
feeling dizzy, and felt his balls and then the base of his cock. I rubbed my 
fingers over the stretched lips of my asshole, now spread so far apart to 
hold his organ between them. I was amazed, truly amazed. 

"Then I placed my hand back on his balls as he rubbed my breasts with one 
hand and played with my pussy with the other. His fingers pushed the lips 
apart and his hand finally worked itself deep in my vagina. I felt like I 
was being fucked by two male organs at once. 

"Finally, he began to move out of me. I thought he was pulling all the way 
out because he kept moving back, but he only went until the tip of his cock 
was still in. It was so huge-it seemed at that moment longer than before. 
When he pushed it back in, I thought it took actual minutes to get it all 
the way up my ass. The opening of my anal canal ached and was red with pain. 
But the pain was only a prelude to pleasure as I began to feel more excited 
with each stroke. He pulled it out of me with a fast movement and shoved 
back in just as quickly. He was manly now, forcing his long, thick cock up 
my ass, invading it like a battering ram against the Great Wall. He rocked 
his hips back and forth, shouting into the hollowness of the room. His 
excitement was at its peak and I waited, enthralled, entranced, for him to 
shoot his virile load into my narrow passage. 

"Ching Yeh knew exactly what he was doing. He worked himself into a rhythm 
of pushing and pulling, and at the same time his hands were rubbing me in 
the right places, keeping me so stimulated that I was almost on the brink of 
orgasm. I now was enjoying every moment of what was happening to my asshole. 
He professed his love for me and told me again and again how it would feel 
when he came. I waited for that moment like I had never waited before. I was 
about to experience something new in my life, which was a very special event 
for any girl. 

"Then I knew he was ready. His strokes were so rapid that I didn't know 
whether he was shoving it in or withdrawing. My asshole was in ecstasy-and 
ecstasy of constant moving friction. 

"Mei-Ling, Mei-Ling ... I am coming! I am coming!' he shouted over and over 
so loud I think the heavens must have heard him. He held tight to my 
shoulders and then slammed his chest against my back and moaned, almost 
cried. It was happening! 

"I felt a great heat inside me as his cock jumped and leaped in its orgasm. 
I nearly fainted-from the feeling and the realization of what was happening. 
Everything--the festival, my parents, my masturbating, my dream of seeing 
Ching Yeh naked-flashed through my mind. Then I rested my head back on his 
shoulder as he calmed down, still holding his rigid cock in my asshole. 

"Look, Mei-Ling," he said a moment later. I turned my head to one side and 
looked at the White swirls of creamy matter were rising next to us, floating 
at the top of the water. 

"I am losing your gift!" I said in alarm. 

"No, there is plenty in there and it will remain there," he said gently. 

"It is a beautiful liquid, so white, so pure. I should like to take it into 
my mouth sometime." 

"You shall, you shall," he said and kissed me softly. Then he pulled back 
and his cock slipped out of me and a great amount of his young semen rose 
between us. 

"I turned around and cleansed his softening cock with the scented soap bar. 
Then we got out of the tub and dried ourselves. We wanted to remain naked 
and run across the yard, but it was too cold. We dressed quickly and dashed 
out into the night air. When we reached the little building where Lin-Piao 
was waiting, we became excited again. She sat naked on one of the little 
mats in the corner of the room. Incense burned in a dish next to her. 

"I watched you," Lin-Piao confessed softly, "from the window of the bathing 
house. I want to be loved in that way too. Please, I ask with honor. 
Please?" 

"I looked at Ching Yeh. We were startled at first, but in a moment he had 
drawn his robe over his head and was standing, facing Lin-Piao with his hand 
on his already hardening cock. I knew the night was not over yet." 

In the first and second chapters of this book, we dealt with the anal 
experiences of women, drawing particular attention to the organless stage in 
the development of female sexuality. At this time in her life, a girl 
experiences a genital trauma, which consists of two primary components. 

First there is the feeling of inferiority in reference to the superior size 
and ability of the male sexual organ to release built-up aggressions of a 
sexual nature. This stage in the psychosexual development of a woman is 
known as penis envy. 

Secondly, the other component of the trauma consists in the innate 
anatomical disposition of the female. At this time, she discredits her 
clitoris and awaits for her vagina to be penetrated by the male before it 
can become the center of her sexuality. During this period, the young girl 
is organless, and regresses to the earlier anal and oral stages of 
maturation. This regressive phase is broken once her vagina becomes her 
genital organ. 

She remains in this organless state until the latency period is broken by 
the overwhelming tides of sexuality during puberty. 

The beginning of the menstrual cycle complicates matters even further. For 
when the young woman begins to menstruate, the genital trauma is 
reactivated. Again she lacks an organ to discharge this sexual buildup as 
the male can. Thus, she now anxiously awaits penetration that will nudge her 
into womanhood. 

At the same time, her aggressions undergo a transformation. They are 
actively directed inward, in psychical conjunction with the actively 
directed function of her .anatomical structure. This series of events result 
in the passive and masochistic characterology of the normal woman. 

There is no doubt that, so far in Mei-Ling's story, both she and her girl 
friend are normal youths. We notice a strong flavor of narcissism in their 
attitudes. For instance, Mei-Ling relates to us that she is very beautiful, 
and in similar statements she lets us know that she is quite concerned with 
the excellence of her own body. Again, this is also a normal reaction. The 
intensified narcissism during this period helps compensate for the 
castration anxiety of the genital trauma. This narcissism is also a help and 
a compensation in overcoming her natural passive-masochistic tendencies. If 
the young girl did not manifest this intensification of narcissism, she 
would be overwhelmed by numerous identifications which are so characteristic 
of both sexes during this influential period of life. Thus, narcissism is a 
defense against the intense identifications of childhood adolescence, 
especially with the mother, and in this respect strengthens the ego in order 
to help form a more balanced personality. 

In reference to the great importance of the interplay between narcissism and 
passive-masochism Helene Deutsch writes in The Psychology of Women: 

In our opinion, the intensification or preservation of the narcissism that 
was strengthened during adolescence results from a conflict between definite 
sexual tendencies and that part of the ego which expresses the instinct of 
self-preservation. Since the sexual tendencies of woman are directed towards 
goals that are dangerous for her ego, the latter defends itself and 
strengthens its inner security by intensifying its self-love, which then 
manifests itself as "narcissism." Woman's sexual goals are dangerous for her 
ego because they are masochistic in character, and the riddle of feminine 
narcissism can be solved only if we understand feminine masochism, the 
aggressor in the inner conflict. In all situations marked by intensified 
masochistic tendencies, the narcissistic protective reaction seems to come 
into play. 

We can find two points in the case of Mei-Ling which can be considered 
abnormal in our Western culture. The first is her relationship with her girl 
friend, which develops in an atmosphere of homosexual elements. And 
secondly, her intense anal eroticism. 

In reference to the former, it is worth mentioning that during the 
prepuberty stage of development, also a deeply important stage in the life 
of a woman, she is occupied with her best friend relationships. This serves 
the purpose of freeing the young girl from her mother-attachment and helps 
her prepare for womanhood. 

Usually, with the approach of puberty, this type of friendship is dissolved 
and the young girl renounces her homosexual attachments in favor of a 
heterosexual relationship. We seem to be witnessing this process in the 
activities of our case, but we must remember that Mei-Ling is seventeen 
years old, four or five years behind the age at which we would expect this 
change to take place. 

It is of interest to mention that every case of homosexuality in a female 
finds its roots in the inability to renounce the mother, and is thereby the 
result of a fixation at the regressive level of the mother-child 
relationship. 

The sexual significance of the anal stage should have been overcome with the 
first penetration by the male organ of the vagina. But this failed to occur 
in both of our girls. Thus we see that they are not ready to accept their 
femininity to the fullest degree. 

In the first chapter, we mentioned that sexual aberration is related to the 
separation of affection and sexual pleasure. By no means do we mean to 
contradict this statement. But in the female the reproductive function also 
is innately tied into the sexual function. 

With reference to the special function of womanhood, Helene Deutsch says, 
"For the normal, healthy woman coitus psychologically represents the first 
act of motherhood." 

Even with the heightened narcissism of Mei-Ling, she is still quite 
concerned with the pleasure of her partner. Here we notice the beginning of 
her blossoming womanhood. 

The regressive features of her homosexual attachment of Lin-Piao are also 
beginning to dissolve. We can assume this, because there seems to be a 
competition for the love and affection of Ching Yeh. This competition is a 
prototype, and necessary for dissolving the too intimate relationship 
between the girls. However, since we have no knowledge about Mei-Ling's age 
at menstrual onset, we cannot say for sure whether her psychological 
development is too late. Also, we must not forget that in her society, the 
concept of child-woman is considered sexually attractive. 

"Lin-Piao sat on the mats, waiting, watching. I took my clothing off and 
stood next to Ching Yeh, watching him play with his cock. Then he sat on the 
floor and smiled at both of us. 

"It is difficult, even for someone as young and strong as I am, to get 
another erection strong enough to fuck two virgin girls in the ass in such a 
short time. I need a few minutes rest. But you both may work on me to help 
me." 

"I knelt near him and took his cock in my hands. He flopped back on the 
floor and spread his body wide. He closed his eyes, ready for our 
lovemaking, ready for our touches of hands and mouth which would return all 
his power. His penis became stiff, but not as rigid as it had been. 

"I moved my lips to the tip and took it. I ran my tongue down the little 
crack in the end, tasting just a little drop of his semen. Then I nibbled 
there, under the heavy rounded tip, and I felt it surge in my lips as it got 
harder. 

"I became aware of Lin-Piao's lips near mine and I saw that she was licking 
his testicles. They rolled under her caresses and moved with a force all 
their own. She sucked one into her mouth and then did the same to the other. 
Ching Yeh uttered a low groan of pleasure. I took as much of his huge cock 
into my lips as possible. 

"I worked up and down on his long shaft as Lin-Piao ran her hand up and down 
the smooth skin of the part not in my mouth. She stroked him with vigor as 
my head bounced above. As she played with his big balls, he moved his legs 
about on the floor. He was wracked with pleasure and I was suddenly afraid 
that he would not fuck Lin-Piao in the ass, but would shoot his load in my 
mouth. I would have liked that, but I knew that Lin-Piao was very eager to 
experience anal intercourse. And she was ready. 

"I stopped sucking and Lin-Piao took over. Ching Yeh moved his hand up; he 
grasped our swinging breasts, and fondled them. Then we began to move and 
roll across the floor together. All three of us grasped and hugged and 
kissed and licked at each other's bodies. Ching Yeh's cock was against my 
breasts as I took Lin-Piao's nipple in my mouth, then I had my face in his 
ass, while his lips fitted themselves over Lin-Piao's wet pussy. It was very 
exciting and stimulated us even more. 

"Then it was time. "We must hurry, our parents will be returning soon," 
Ching Yeh said. He asked me to watch and do whatever I cared to help excite 
them. Then he told Lin-Piao to lay down on the floor. She did. He knelt 
beside her. Bending down between her legs, he kissed her asshole. I shivered 
as I recalled how I had felt in the bathing house. 

"Suddenly, Ching Yeh stopped and looked up. "I would like to try something 
different, please," he said. I wondered what he meant. 

"Lin-Piao, please turn over." 

"Yes, Ching Yeh," she responded, lying on her back. 

"Now, Mei-Ling, please kneel above Lin Piao's head so you can hold her feet 
above her face." 

"I moved into a kneeling position behind Lin Piao's head and, when Ching Yeh 
lifted her feet over her head, I grabbed and held them there. Her pussy was 
spread open before him, and, even more important to the situation, her 
asshole was open and ready. 

"Ching Yeh moved his hard cock to the anal opening. He saw that there was 
not enough lubricant there, so he applied more saliva with his tongue, 
causing Lin-Piao to gasp in pleasure. 

"Oh, Ching Yeh, I have never felt such ecstasy!" she said. 

"Wait, my flower, you will soon see what it is to experience ecstasy." 

"He placed his cock to her asshole and pressed it there with his fingers. 
Then he pushed, holding it firmly with his fingertips until the head had 
nestled its way into her grasping, clinging anus. 

"Oh, Mei-Ling, it is so big! I cannot take it!" Lin-Piao shouted up at me. I 
was kneeling almost directly over her face and I looked down to see her eyes 
looking up at me just under my pussy. 

"Nonsense, Lin-Piao, I thought the same thing. You will see how beautiful it 
will be!" 

"Then Ching Yeh looked up at me and smiled. He removed his hand from his 
cock and braced himself on the floor. He began to slide his long penis into 
her hot virgin asshole. I watched as the ass muscles opened to receive the 
incredible visitor. 

"I felt a tingling in my pussy and I knew I had to put my hand in there, but 
at the same time I realized I had to hold tight to Lin-Piao's legs. 
"Lin-Piao, please, rub my pussy, please," I whispered. She did so without 
even realizing it I think. She was in another world-that same world of pain 
and pleasure I had been in only a few minutes earlier. She rubbed my pussy 
automatically, feeling nothing other than the marvelous sensations emanating 
from her anus. 

"I felt her fingers tickling my little bud and I started to shake and 
wriggle. Ching Yeh watched happily, which gave him more stimulation. He was 
sliding his cock into Lin-Piao's asshole very slowly as she gasped for 
breath. 

"Then the fingers in my cunt moved around some more, and my fluids began to 
run down her arm. I shook violently as I climaxed from the feeling of her 
hands, from Ching Yeh's gaze, and from the awesome sight of his cock being 
slowly buried in her asshole. I sat back on my heels, cradling Lin-Piao's 
head in my legs, and watched in pleasure and satisfaction. 

"How do you feel, Lin-Piao?" Ching Yeh asked with a grin. He seemed to be 
enjoying himself. When he was with me he was different-he was passionate, 
loving. With Lin-Piao he seemed to be having fun rather than to be sharing 
an emotional satisfaction with her. This pleased me. It made me feel 
special. 

"Finally, Lin-Piao answered him. "O Ching Yeh, it hurts so very much! But I 
will not shout. I will endure ... I will not shout ... " 

"Suddenly Ching Yeh lunged forward with one powerful thrust and Lin-Piao's 
eyeballs seemed to bulge out of her head! "Eeeee! Oh! I am dying!" she 
shouted, louder than I could possibly have called out. I had to suppress a 
laugh. She was always too sure of herself. 

"But then the mood changed as Ching Yeh really began to give her what she 
wanted to receive and what he, as a man, needed to give. He pulled his 
enormous cock from her asshole until I could see the rigid tip. Then he 
slammed it all the way into her again, as he started his rhythmic movements. 

"He bent his head down and bit her nipples and licked between her breasts. 
She had one hand stuffed in her pussy, while all the time she moaned and 
cried with little sounds in the back of her throat. She kept her eyes 
closed; her body was often wracked by spasms. I knew she was enjoying it, 
and I was happy that she was receiving pleasure. She was my friend and I 
loved her dearly. If he had been my husband I would have shared her with 
him. 

"Oh, Ching Yeh, you are so big!" 

"I'm going to fill your ass with my come." 

"Oh, Ching Yeh, your cock is so huge! You are splitting me in two!" 

"Do you want my come? Do you your ass?" 

"She reeled her head from side to side, calling out, "Oh yes, please, 
please, come in me!" 

"Come in you where?" Ching Yeh asked, tempting her, teasing her, drawing her 
to the finish. 

"In my asshole! In my burning asshole!" 

"I shall drown you with my come! I will drown you!" 

"I could hardly control my excitement. I pressed my cunt lips against 
Lin-Piao's head as I heard their voices. What they were saying excited me, 
for it was rare that I heard such talk, such language. I loved it and I 
hoped they would not stop. 

"I am nearing it, I am coming near. Mei-Ling, tell me you want to come in 
Lin-Piao's asshole just like I came in yours. Tell me!" 

"I could hardly get the words out. "Oh yes, my dear Ching Yeh, fill her with 
your white cream, fill her from that beautiful cock!" 

"Please! Please!" Lin-Piao begged from the ground. She kicked her legs, but 
I held tight. She worked her hand in and out of her pussy as Ching Yeh's 
hips moved up and down, slamming in and out of her tight little ass. His 
balls flopped against her flesh with a soft thud. 

"I'm coming, Lin-Piao! You will feel it!" he shouted. There was a scowl on 
his face which told me he was really going to reach an orgasm. 

"Yes, yes," she gurgled. 

"Then it hit and I watched it through blurred eyes. Ching Yen's entire body 
jolted and shook as he wildly pumped Lin-Piao's asshole full of his juices. 
She didn't say a word. She just took it, felt it, embraced the moment. I 
knew how she felt-hot, full, complete--and I shared in her ultimate joy. 

"Ching Yeh pumped his hips for just a few more moments and then his entire 
body collapsed on top of Lin-Piao. I dropped her feet and they thumped to 
the ground. She was completely relaxed, loving the moment, feeling it with 
every fiber of her body. Her asshole was overflowing with thick, white come 
for the first time in her life. The thrill was unbelievable for her. 

"Oh, Mei-Ling, Ching Yeh, I am very pleased," Lin-Piao said, and then began 
to giggle. She was evidently very, very happy. I sat next to her as Ching 
Yeh pulled his long, softening penis from her anal canal. When the head 
popped out, a trickle of semen followed it and bubbled there. Lin-Piao 
rolled over on the floor so Ching Yeh could lay between us. I joined them 
and the three of us lay there breathing normally as we relaxed after the 
strenuous and exciting affair. 

"Ching Yeh left a little while later and soon after he had gone, our parents 
returned. By that time, Lin-Piao and I were pretending to be sound asleep. I 
heard my mother bend down on the mat next to me and ask if I were feeling 
better. 

"I am fine, just fine." 

"Yes, it was good for you to rest," she whispered, patting me on the head. 

"I woke in the middle of the night to find that my ass cheeks felt wet. I 
reached down behind and realized that some of Ching Yen's come was still 
running out of my now-relaxed anal canal. I slid my finger in easily because 
of the semen still in me, and finger-fucked myself with my right hand while 
my other hand worked inside my pussy. I had to be quiet so as not to disturb 
Lin-Piao, but it was difficult. 

"I kept thinking of Ching Yeh's beautiful hard cock sliding in and out of my 
asshole in the water, of Ching Yeh's penis pounding into my friend. I came 
easily, with great emotional satisfaction. I learned the next day that Ching 
Yeh could not sleep either. He told me he had gotten up in the night and 
played with himself till he had an erection. Then, thinking of fucking my 
asshole, he pumped his cock until he reached an orgasm. 

"I had hoped to be fucked by Ching Yeh at least one more time before we were 
to return to our village, but to our sadness we were not able. Our parents 
were always nearby; then the festival came to a close. I was in a great 
depression for weeks afterward. I missed the beautiful, handsome boy who had 
taken my anal virginity. I missed him greatly. 

"Then, another year later, as was the custom for centuries, I was to be wed 
to a nice boy, whom I liked but whom I did not love. The marriage day drew 
near, just as an unfortunate accident happened. My betrothed was killed in a 
fire in the factory in which he worked. It was another two years later that 
marriage was again suggested for me. I was certainly "old" by ancient 
traditional standards, and I was fearing a life without a husband. 

"I had seen Ching Yeh a few times over the years at each time we had 
professed our love for one another. Ching Yeh and I presented our desires to 
our parents, who finally consented to the match. There was a great wedding 
feast and celebration. Ching Yeh and I were married on a beautiful winter 
day when the sky was clear and the wind crisp. 

"We have, in our years together, made love in every way and fashion. We have 
had children and we have great love for them. I cannot wait for my daughters 
to grow up. I want to tell them of the joys of anal intercourse, so they 
will have open minds and will be able to experience the wonder and 
excitement I first experienced that day in the bathing house. 

"You see, anal intercourse still remains our favorite way of making love. 
There is nothing in the world so exciting for me as the feel of Ching Yeh's 
huge penis up my asshole. And he tells me the greatest joy for him is the 
knowledge that he is flooding my rectum with his come." 

The prognosis for Mei-Ling is quite favorable. Even though she derives 
pleasure from anal intercourse, this has not destroyed her enjoyment of 
vaginal coitus. 

There can be no better testimony to the health of Mei-Ling than the fact 
that she is a proud mother and a happily married woman who is devoted to her 
husband. 

CHAPTER FIVE: Denholm-Australia 

"I'll bet you think of Australia and kangaroos come to your mind, right? 
Koala bears? They're here, all right, and they're part of it, but there's 
another part of Australia which people seem to know little about: the 
people! 

"We're stuck here on the other bloody side of the earth, so I guess it is 
easy to understand. I'm going to tell you a little bit about the people-the 
young people, like myself, and the people I know. I think we're very hip, 
free spirited, and much less stuffy than our parents and most other adults. 

"I'm twenty-three and I dig the music of Rod Stewart, Cat Stevens and Lana 
Cantrell. I also love American pizza. My hair is long and I'm quite good 
looking. As a musician, I spend most of my time writing songs and playing 
with a group. I take life easy, but my biggest thrill is fucking an asshole. 
I dig girls but I guess I should say I'm bisexual, because I don't mind 
fucking a guy's ass every now and then. 

"Take yesterday for example. I had just finished doing a recording session 
when I met this good-looking young chick outside the studio. She turned me 
on with her big smile. I looked down at her legs and her ass--shapely, 
meaty, sharp. I wanted her. 

"She was wearing tight hot-pants that covered her buttocks firmly. Her 
nipples were pointing out of the little sweater she was wearing-I felt weak 
in the knees. It had been one hell of a recording session, and I needed 
something to relax me, to take the built-up energy out of me. I started 
thinking how nice it would be to spend the night with her. 

"Hi," she said. The way she said it, the way she looked at me ... well, I 
knew she wanted the same thing I did. Girls like her were always hanging 
around rock singers, around the studio and the concert halls. It was a great 
phenomenon of those times, the groupie. On nights like that one I was 
thankful for them. 

"How'd you like to come up to my place?" I asked her. 

"You're Denholm R--, aren't you? You wrote "Wandering Fool," didn't you?" 
She had a high, clear voice. I liked her. 

"Ja, that's me. And I'd kinda like to fuck your little bum." I believe in 
being honest and straightforward with people. No bullshit. Too many people 
in this world are full of bullshit, games and the like. If everyone would 
just be less up-tight about sex, things would be a lot better. 

"Her name was Sheila and she told me she was supposed to stop at some 
friend's house, but had been waiting outside the studio just in case. 

"What if we stop there for a bit, then go on up to my place?" I asked. 

"That sounds fine. You'll dig my friend Bill, he's a swinger. He's beautiful 
too, almost too much so!" 

"I grabbed her hand and we walked up the street. Once we had turned the 
corner, I reached down and grabbed the cheek of her ass. She smiled. 

"You never said yes," I said. 

"Yes to what?" 

"An ass-fuck!" 

"She grinned. "Anything you want, baby." I slapped her ass and we walked up 
the street. I was getting excited just thinking about it. She looked down 
the crease in the front of my jeans and giggled. "This is gonna be great!" 
she said, anticipating the size of my cock. 

"We rang Bill's doorbell and a good-looking kid came to the door dressed 
only in a pair of faded jeans, with only one button on the crotch buttoned. 
I could see the hairs above his cock through the opening. Sheila introduced 
us, and Bill smiled at me and turned around to get some grass. I saw that 
the jeans fit tightly over his ass and thought to myself, I wouldn't mind 
fucking his asshole either! 

"We sat on pillows on the living room floor, and smoked a joint. Then Sheila 
asked Bill if he had gotten the film yet. 

"What film?" I asked. 

"Some erotica we made," Sheila replied. "That's what I do, besides go to 
college. I'm a photographer." 

"Far out," I said, putting one arm around Sheila. She nestled her head 
between my shoulder and neck, and asked Bill to show the film. He pulled a 
screen down from the ceiling, got the projector and loaded it. 

"While he did that, Sheila and I were rolling around on the floor, feeling 
every inch of each other's bodies. She had nice, hard tits, the kind a guy 
likes to suck on for hours. Her pussy was soft and hairy, as I soon 
discovered as she pulled her hot-pants to her knees. And her ass-a beautiful 
ass. I turned her over and kissed it hard right smack between the cheeks. 
She moaned and Bill looked at us and said, "Man, that's the place to really 
turn her on. Hey, why don't both of you take off your clothes. It's the best 
way to watch this flick." 

"Good idea," Sheila said, pulling her sweater over her head. I stood up and 
took off my shirt and shoes. Sheila, at my feet, pulled my socks off and 
then I opened my pants. Bill watched as I dropped them to the floor and 
stood bare-assed in the middle of the room. My cock was hard, and Sheila 
immediately slammed her mouth down over it, sucking like an expert. 

"I stood there, very excited by the feel of her lips, and was quite turned 
on because of Bill watching us. He stopped threading the projector for a 
moment as he looked into my eyes and then down at the beautiful girl working 
desperately on my cock. I saw his cock getting hard in his pants and in a 
moment he opened the button, and let them fall to his knees. He had a huge 
cock, bigger than mine, and he grasped it in his hand and held it there. 

"Sheila sure knew what she was doing. She turned profile so Bill could watch 
what she was doing. My balls shook up and down as she slid her mouth up and 
down the length of my hard cock. Bill walked toward us and knelt down just a 
foot from me. He watched closely as Sheila performed. 

"I looked down to see that Bill was beating his cock furiously. I was 
carried away with excitement. 

"Then he moved behind me and I instinctively spread my legs, knowing that 
Bill was going to do something to increase my excitement. I hoped he wasn't 
going to try to put his dick up my ass, because I don't dig that. But 
against my cunt. Each stroke jostled my inner organs and sent tremors of 
excitement through my whole body. Every nerve seemed to be on edge. Every 
part of me had come alive. As he plunged his prick into me with increasing 
force, my gentle sighs turned to uncontrollable moans. I was where I 
wanted-to be, on a lovely plateau of pure pleasure. 

"He kept right on stroking my cunt, especially my clit as he fucked me, his 
fingers moving in the same furious rhythm as his prick. Fuck me in the ass, 
fuck me in the ass, a voice in my mind cried out. I wouldn't have dared say 
words such as these out loud, but the words echoed in my mind nonetheless. 
Fuck me in the ass! 

"He did, as though he'd heard the words of my inner mind. He pierced me with 
knife-like sharpness, in and out, now swirling his prick around, stimulating 
that one delicate spot until I could hold out no longer. 

"He knew what he was doing to me and let himself go at the very moment my 
own spasms began. My ass gripped at his prick which sprang into me, its 
energy surging forth as the semen raced through its channels to spurt out 
inside me. I shuddered underneath him and let myself emit one low scream as 
the pulsations became incredibly intense. The twitches of his cock triggered 
wave-like undulations of my ass. Yes, that's the way it really was. My ass 
was coming! It was a fantastic fuck. 

"We collapsed together side by side on the bed, my back against him as 
though I were seated in his lap. He clung to me then again began to caress 
my tits, my belly, my cunt. He was trying to get me excited again, but I had 
a hunch he'd want to do something different. I was entirely right. 

"After kissing me passionately, he broke away to ask, "Wouldn't you like to 
try the real thing? We seem great together so far." 

"It was marvelous," I said, placing my hand on his semi-erect cock to show 
my appreciation. "I'm afraid I've had it for tonight, though. Do you mind?" 

"He shook his head sweetly. He wasn't the sort of guy to persist and maybe 
he was tired, too. It had been a magnificent climax for both of us. We had 
coffee together and talked about casual things. After he'd gone I wished I 
could have let my hair down and told him about myself, really. At least I 
could have told him that what he'd done was, for me, "the real thing." 

"I guess I'm a pervert, every bit as much of one as my ex. Maybe I could 
carry some weight around this dumb town if I mentioned that I'd been married 
to Claude ---, that I was the girl of a thousand faces one saw on the record 
covers and in the ads. I was afraid of mentioning the name though, because 
somebody would think, maybe even say, "What? That fag?" And they'd end up 
feeling sorry for me. 

"Besides, Claude wasn't a fag, not anymore. He'd been one, yes, but he was 
cured at last. He left me, not for a man, but for another woman, one who is, 
I suppose, more of a woman than me. Once he was ready to give up pretty 
boys, he was ready to give me up, too. 

"Innocent kid that I am, I thought he was perfectly normal when we first 
started going out. And he was beautiful, built like a Greek statue, with 
dark, pensive eyes. I idolized him. Since I'd had so little experience with 
sex, I didn't know to look for the warning signs. When he didn't try to make 
love to me, I thought it was out of consideration and kindness. I was 
already tired of New York men who are constantly on the make. I thought that 
between Claude and me there was something deeper than just sexual 
attraction. 

"He proposed marriage before he'd even taken me to bed. How beautifully 
old-fashioned, I thought. My girl friends occasionally asked about our sex 
life and I'd say, "Great! Just great." And when I went home to Charleston 
and announced to my family that we were engaged, my mother said to me 
privately, "You haven't ... you know, have you?" 

"No, Mama, I haven't," I could say with a clear conscience. 

"There had been others, though. When I first went to New York, I hadn't 
learned that a girl had better say "no" before a guy gets inside her 
apartment, especially if she doesn't know him very well. So, I got laid a 
few times. I let it happen passively and didn't enjoy it very much. I 
couldn't come and that began to bother me. Then there was one nice guy, 
Harold, who let his foreplay go on so long that my cunt exploded in one 
fantastic orgasm while he fingered my clit. 

"I was ashamed of myself. That wasn't the way it was supposed to happen. 
Harold kept doing it again and again, driving me to the wildest ecstasies 
with the mere touch of his finger. He'd do it in taxicabs, in apartment 
building halls, and even once when we were in the shower together. If it was 
a more or less public place, I'd have to bury my head against his chest to 
keep from screaming. Afterwards, though, I'd feel as though I'd done 
something naughty. Harold inserted his cock in my pussy now and then, but I 
couldn't feel anything unless he played with my clit at the same time. 

"What's wrong with me?" I wondered. "Is my cunt incomplete or something? Am 
I more masculine than feminine?" 

"Claude got heavier and heavier in love making before we got married, I 
guess, to make sure I wouldn't change my mind. Once we lay together admiring 
each other's bodies for a long time, then he played with my cunt with his 
fingers. The familiar rush of warmth rose inside me. I tried to stop myself, 
but I couldn't. I was coming, just the way I had with Harold, the sensations 
from my clitoris sending electric shocks up my spine. It was beautiful, that 
first orgasm with Claude, but afterwards I cried. He took me to see him 
stick it up her asshole. But he didn't! Instead, he spread her ass cheeks 
(with the aid of her own hands) and aimed the tip of his cock directly at 
the pink little hole. Then he shot a load of come onto her asshole like I've 
never seen! It filled her ass cheeks and ran down over her cunt. She cried 
and yelled and banged her feet on the ground. I could imagine how hot and 
exciting it must have felt! 

"Then he let his cock go and he pushed some of the semen into her hole with 
his finger, giving her a good finger-fuck. Just as I thought it was almost 
over, he took his still hard cock and placed it right to her ass. The camera 
came in close just as the lips of her anus parted to receive the member. His 
cock sank into her with the lubrication of its own come! Was I ever amazed! 
This kid was going to fuck her right after coming, using his own come as a 
lubricant! 

"And fuck her ass he did. He rammed his cock in and out of her until I 
thought I was going to come myself. Sheila was rubbing my cock so hard I had 
to have her stop. I couldn't stand it any longer. The sight of the kid 
fucking the woman's ass, and the feel of Sheila's hand was too much. I 
wanted to save my come for her asshole. 

"The camera came in under the kid's flopping balls. They seemed to swell 
with his orgasm, and when he hit, I thought his entire body had been forced 
up the woman's asshole. He slammed her into the ground and kicked his legs 
high. The come floated from her ass opening as he pumped spurt after spurt 
into her. Then he pulled out and crawled up over her back. The camera came 
in close to show the last drippings of come from his softening cockhead, and 
the last gush of warm come from her asshole. Then, Gar got up and smiled, 
picked up his underpants, and carried them into the house, over his 
shoulder, as the woman lay panting in pleasure on the ground. 

"Bill got up and clicked on the lights. "Wow, that was fantastic! I'd like 
to stick some rock score behind it, to add to the excitement," I said. 

"Yeh, Den, why don't you? I was just going to put any old album behind it. 
But if you have something written, it would be great." 

"However, there was something more important which had to be taken care of 
right then and there-mine and Bill's cock, and Sheila's beautiful little 
buns. I placed my hand on her ass and kissed her full on the mouth. She 
pulled away from me and flattened herself out on the floor, on her stomach. 
"Fuck me, Denny, come on and fuck me! Bill, I'll suck you while I'm taking 
it in the ass." 

"Bill knelt in front of her. "Wait till you two really get going, then you 
can take me," he said, holding his cock in his hand. He smiled at me and I 
knew it was time to really go to town. 

"I leaned down and filled the crack of her little ass with spit. Then I 
rubbed the head of my cock up and down between the cheeks. She moaned and 
begged for it, but I wasn't ready to give it to her, not just yet. I wanted 
to get her real hot, bloody-out-of-her-mind hot, with my mouth. I flicked my 
tongue against the hard nub at the opening of her asshole and she shivered 
in pleasure. 

"Then I opened my lips and forced my tongue directly at the opening. It slid 
in about half an inch and I pulled it out and did it again and again until 
she was begging for my cock. Bill was panting as he watched, and he beat his 
cock furiously above her face. He moved close to her, sitting on his heels, 
and let his balls slide up and down on her forehead and nose. She lifted her 
head and licked at them a few times. 

"Finally I shoved my tongue as far as I could and it entered her like a 
cock. She screamed in pleasure. I pulled out and replaced it with my dick. I 
shoved hard and entered her. She screamed, and her entire body bolted in a 
spasm of utter surprise and delight. Then I slid all the way into her 
without stopping. She loved it. 

"When I was all the way in, I told her to get up on her knees, so we could 
do it dog-style, and at the same time she could suck on Bill's nice, hard 
cock. She moved up and I went with her, never allowing my cock to fall from 
her asshole. She knelt and I watched as Bill let her take his cock. He put 
his hands on her back and I grabbed them and held them for a second. We were 
the masters and she was our slave. I fucked her in the ass while she sucked 
Bill's cock with all of us coming at the same time. 

"I let go of his hands and began to fuck her nice and hard in her little hot 
asshole. Bill matched my movements up front, and shoved his cock in and out 
of her face, fucking her there. We fucked and fucked and she moaned and 
shook all the time we pumped her. I felt my balls swinging free beneath me, 
and I watched the expression change on Bill's face from excited interest to 
pained ecstasy! 

"Tell me when, Denny, I'll hold off till you shoot!" he cried. 

"Oh man, I'm almost there! I'm gonna ram her cunt so full of come she won't 
know what hit her!" I returned. 

"And I'm gonna fill her mouth so full ... 

"He didn't get to finish his sentence because I let out with a yelp that 
shook the house! "NOW!" I shouted into the air. I rammed my cock into her 
asshole with such force that it pushed her onto his cock, sticking it way 
down her throat. At the same moment, Bill let out a heavy sigh and closed 
his eyes. He came, just as I did, and together we stuffed her body so full 
of come she could hardly breathe! 

"Sheila shook and moaned, and tears rolled of carrot juice. He wasn't fixing 
anything to drink now, though, and he didn't waste much time showing me 
around the place. He led me to a mattress covered with an Indian blanket in 
a corner of the living room and pulled me down beside him. 

"Baby, I wanna fuck you. I wanna fuck you so bad," he said. 

"He was very sexy, even if he did seem a little crude. And I was flattered. 
I knew I'd set off some spark in him, and it isn't every day that that sort 
of thing happens. Maybe this time would be different. I hoped, maybe this 
would be the man who could do it for me. He didn't look the type for weird 
kicks. I'd have to try to make it the ordinary way. It wasn't courage that 
brought me boldly to this point as much as it was the two martinis I'd had. 

"He started stripping off his clothes and left me to undo mine. When his 
pants came down, I noticed that he had an all-over tan. A nudist, no doubt. 
I also noticed he was hung like a horse. The sight of such a huge phallus 
would have turned on other women, no doubt. Frankly, I was impressed. It was 
lovely to look at but all I could think was ouch! 

"Once my pantsuit was off and neatly draped over a chair, he took one long 
look starting with my boobs and going on down. I guess I was posing, my 
tummy all sucked in, my head tall, my weight gracefully balanced. 

"Beautiful," he said. "Now I know I haven't seen you before. If I had, I'd 
remember when and where." 

"That was a relief. I still didn't want anyone probing into my past. 

"I stood still as he approached me and pulled me tight against his tall, 
muscular body. He smiled down at me, pushed my hair away from my face, then 
bore down hard against my lips with his, twisting my mouth before opening 
it, then prodding his tongue inside to meet mine. While he kissed me, he 
pressed that huge cock against my belly. Soon our two bodies squirmed 
together sensuously as our tongues mingled. My breath came hot and fast. 
Already I knew that my cunt juices were flowing. What a fast turn-on this 
gorgeous Nordic lover was. He had me totally in his power and I scarcely 
knew him. Maybe this man would be the one to save me from my perverted 
desires. I could only hope so. 

"He wasn't one to hesitate. He soon had me flat on my back on the mattress. 
He kissed me again, plunging his tongue even deeper into my mouth than 
before. My tongue twisted and swiveled against his and underneath him, my 
body wiggled. My pussy really felt hot and the idea of that gigantic prick 
which now rubbed against my belly no longer scared me. 

"He pulled away from my mouth and skillfully heaved my pelvis into the air, 
throwing my legs over his shoulders. My cunt was within inches of his face. 
Opening his mouth he drew out his tongue, licked his lips, then dived for 
the slick sensitive flesh. He swept over my clitoris again and again. Dizzy 
with sensation, I was afraid I'd give way to an orgasm if he kept it up much 
longer. Instead, though, he curled his tongue into a point and traced the 
edges of my slit several times. Then he lapped at it, deliberately 
moistening it with his saliva, getting it ready for that fantastic tool. 

"I opened my cunt as wide as I could. Crouching over me and staring into my 
face, he began to shove it in. It was big, all right, and, well, it had been 
a long time since anybody had done it this way with me. 

"God, you're tight," he said, adding, "I like them tight." 

"I was utterly overwhelmed at having an instrument like this inside me. I 
was practically in a swoon. Slowly we began to rock together. He moved his 
prick as though it were made of lead. Each stroke seemed to crush me. There 
was something about it that was like ass fucking. All my innards jostled 
around, compressed by the fullness. I was soon totally caught up in the 
rhythm, my movements in phase with his. Gradually, the speed increased. God, 
I was hot. 

"Hot enough to come or almost. But I didn't come. I was suspended, ready for 
the magic touch that would send me over the hill. But the magic touch wasn't 
there, not yet. 

"He fucked me relentlessly, scarcely aware of me, it seemed. In and out, 
churning away, savoring his own sensations, he didn't give a damn about me. 
Or so I thought. Just another prick who wouldn't know if I really came if I 
managed to fake it. 

"But I was wrong. Suddenly he pulled out his cock and whipped me over on my 
belly. He slapped my buttocks as though he were spanking me for being such a 
bad girl. Then, slowly and expertly, he drove that mammoth cock straight up 
my ass. It hurt a little, but I loved the hurt of it, for this was the magic 
touch I needed. 

"He was speeding up now and every thrust jolted me as though it would turn 
me inside out. He jerked it in and out with amazing swiftness. My awareness 
of everything else dimmed. I was conscious only of the tender ring around my 
ass, the giant tube that invaded it again and again. 

"Suddenly my whole body bolted as though I'd been struck by lightning. I 
shuddered helplessly, all the while wailing my head off. Ripples of ecstasy 
spread from my ass, overtaking the rest of me in waves of increasing 
violence. I screamed until I nearly choked. My ass grabbed at his prick, but 
it was moving too fast. In a few more thrusts he'd finished and pulled it 
out, his semen dripping everywhere, chilling my thighs and my cunt. I still 
twitched and whimpered as I fell into a heap on his bed. 

"How did you know?" I whispered. 

"He shrugged. "Just guessed. The prettier the chick, the more weird they 
get, I figure. And dispense with the male sexual organ in act. Similar to 
the case of Antonio, the male love object is a defense against the fear of 
castration. 

It is quite evident in both these cases that the preference for anal sex is 
symbolical proof of their inability to cope with the idea of the female 
genitals. They represent proof, to the immature, of the real danger from 
incest: retributive castration, and proof of the threats made by parents of 
the dangers in masturbation. 

We find another predisposing factor in the case of Denholm. As a result of 
having a weak father, of whom his mother could and did take advantage, 
Denholm did not have a sufficiently strong male prototype with which to 
identify. As was mentioned before, it is the identification with the father 
which forms the inhibitive forces in the psychical organization that fights 
off incestuous longings. In other words, the boy fears his father's 
retribution for incest. This fear is at first represented by an external 
threat emanating from the father. He usually wants his son to leave the 
sheltering caves of mother overprotection and to make his own way in the 
world. When the young boy's incest desires become associated with his 
genitals and he recognizes that some individuals to whom he is so similar do 
not possess a penis, he identifies this thought with his own castration. 
Later when he identifies with his father, this threat is internalized and 
becomes the chief weapon which he uses to break the bonds of his desire for 
his mother, i.e. the castration complex. 

Because of Denholm's weak father, the subsequent identification with him did 
not prove sufficiently strong to break the bonds of motherly desire. To 
accomplish this task, Denholm was forced to identify with his mother. In 
this way, if he became identical with her, he would no longer have to fear 
his love for her. This unconscious reasoning resulted in a narcissistic 
object choice, as Denholm sought an object similar to the one his mother 
loved and saw in him. Therefore, as the mother-son relationship remained 
fixated, Denholm became his mother by identification and looked for an 
object like himself in the external world. 

By this defense maneuver, he was able to overcome his fear of castration due 
to incestuous impulses. His anus became his chief sexual concern because it 
allowed him to be passive in the sexual act like a woman. But with this anal 
eroticism, he could also be active (again in identification with his mother) 
with another's anal cavity because it didn't represent nor contain the same 
fear elements of his immature unconscious belief that the female genitals 
were living proof of his castration fears. 

Therefore, Denholm's anal eroticism, narcissism or narcissistic object 
choice, and degradation of the sexual object represent defenses against 
incest and related threats of castration. 

"When I was a little kid my mother was the dominating force in my life. My 
dad was a sickly, very quiet man. She was big and healthy and I think she 
was tired of his dick long before he died. (He died when I was thirteen.) 
One day, when I was about ten or eleven, I watched them making love. It was 
a terrifying sight. His cock was very small and he couldn't seem to satisfy 
her cunt. She practically flung him out of the room when he came all over 
her pussy instead of in it. I remember her calling him all kinds of terrible 
names and then telling him how she much preferred getting a big stud to fuck 
her in the ass than to have his little cock up her cunt. 

"I can't say that I blamed her, but she treated him too bloody rough. I 
never had much respect for him, because of it. He never once stood up to her 
and he didn't seem to care about anything in the world except his business. 
I was fascinated with sex ever since I could remember, but that scene I had 
watched turned me way, way off. 

"However, one thing about it stayed with me. I kept hearing over and over in 
my mind the words about a stud fucking my mother's asshole. I don't know 
why, it just seemed very exciting for me. Later, I experimented with my 
asshole while I masturbated, and I began sticking all kinds of things up 
there-my finger, a hair brush, carrot, even the end of the kitchen broom. 
Music became a part of my life and I would sit on my bed with my earphones 
on, beating off while I shoved something up my ass. 

"My interest in anal matters changed from my own body to others when I 
became old enough to know what it was all about. I fucked my first girl at 
fifteen, but it wasn't anything for me. It wasn't exciting. I guess I 
thought of my parents and that turned me off. As I fucked her though, I 
thought of her asshole, of my balls rubbing on her asshole as she wrapped 
her legs around me, and that got me excited enough to come in her pussy. 

"Since then I've fucked a few girls normally, but none of the experiences 
has been rewarding for me. There's no excitement to it. Analism is where 
it's at, and I dig fucking the asshole. I never tried fucking a guy until I 
became involved with young rock musicians. They are very cool, and I felt 
free with them, sexually also. Many of them are either bisexual or 
homosexual, and they have very little hang-ups about it. I knew a kid, Kurt, 
from Germany. He had a nice tight ass and he asked me to fuck him one night. 
I wasn't going to at first, but then I figured what the hell? His asshole 
was tight and as exciting as any chick's I'd ever fucked. By then, I 
figured, an asshole is an asshole and I don't bloody well care who it 
belongs to! 

"I didn't have to answer, for just an instant later he'd whipped his tool 
out of my cunt and rubbed the end of it around the opening of my ass. It 
only took a moment for the moisture to spread around, making that lovely 
prick slide in, oh so easily. I cried out with pleasure as it sunk deeper 
and deeper into me. 

"How quickly I was swept up in the ecstasy of his prick entering my ass, 
swiveling mercilessly into its strange depths. Immediately, my body 
responded, churning against him, grinding, twisting, turning. I gasped and 
groaned, and sought desperately for something to hold on to. His hand 
reached for my wrists and held them tightly. 

"I was oblivious to everything except the dull pumping motion from behind 
arid the chills of sensation around my asshole. My twitches and moans were 
totally automatic, for my conscious mind had faded, eclipsed by the sheer 
exquisiteness of sensation. 

"The slow, sensual monotony drove me almost to the point of hysteria. I was 
on the edge, so close to coming, hovering there, waiting, wishing a moment 
such as this would never end. The speed of his thrusts increased and his 
hand now clung to my wrists, while the fingers of his other hand still 
tickled my clitoris delicately. I moaned and quaked, then held my breath for 
an instant. The spasms arose from somewhere deep inside me, magnifying 
themselves, turning into utter convulsions. My ass gripped his prick tightly 
as he shoved it in deep and hard, the final stroke that sent his juices 
spilling into me. A shrill scream burst from my throat and the throbbing 
continued, diminishing so very gradually that I thought it would last 
forever. 

"We lay together in wordless awe, cuddling like little children. He didn't 
attempt to arouse me again that night. At last we dozed off to sleep in each 
other's arms. 

"I awoke the next morning to find the sun shining brightly upon his nude 
body, totally exposed, for he'd kicked the covers off. I wasn't sure if he 
was still asleep or not, but at any rate, his cock was fully erect. 

"I couldn't resist reaching out to it, caressing it delicately with my 
hands. What fantastic pleasure it had given me. God, how I loved it in my 
ass. A big one would never do as well. This cock that I now held lightly 
against the palm of my hand was the perfect cock. 

"He'd soon get up, of course, and walk away, perhaps walk out of my life 
forever. He liked ass-fucking, I knew, but he wanted something more. And he 
had a right to something more. Despair encroached upon my initially happy 
mood as I thought about myself and how I'd learned to enjoy only one sort of 
lovemaking. It wouldn't be wrong, if I could only enjoy other things, too. 

"He roused from his sleep and opened his eyes. His gaze was tender, 
compassionate. 

"You like my cock, don't you, Alice?" 

"I love it." 

"But there's one spot you like it best. Why is that?" 

"I sighed, wondering how much to tell him. "It's a long story," I said at 
last. "I won't go into all the details. I was married and I learned to like 
it that way." 

"You mean that's all your husband wanted?" 

"I wondered if I'd told him too much. "Yeah, he was hung up on this sort of 
thing. And I was inexperienced. I still am. We haven't been apart very 
long." 

"I'm sorry, honey. Maybe I shouldn't have asked. I won't make you talk about 
things you don't want to talk about." 

"I smiled at his strong, understanding face. "It's all right," I said, then 
I added, "but sometimes I wonder if there's really something wrong with me." 

"Wrong? But how could there be? You have such violent climaxes." 

"Only one way though. Otherwise I'm frigid." 

"You, frigid? That's absurd. Frigid women can't make it at all. They'd envy 
you. Sooner or later you'll find some nice guy who likes it that way and no 
other way and you'll live happily ever after." 

"That crushed me. He wasn't going to be the guy, that was clear enough. And 
I didn't want to go on this way. I wanted terribly to be like other women. I 
wanted to enjoy all of sex. 

"He didn't cut me off right then and there. Sometimes I wished he had. He 
kept coming back to see me and never again tried to fuck me in the cunt. At 
least he got me to talk about it frankly so I reached the point where I 
could yell, "Fuck me in the ass!" so loud the neighbors surely heard. 

"We just took for granted that ass fucking was my thing and that it wasn't 
really his thing, so we knew that sooner or later we'd reach the end of the 
road. He kept telling me to go out with other men. I didn't enjoy it much 
because I'd get the same reaction again and again. They all thought I was a 
weird, kinky chick. Jerry seemed certain I'd meet somebody compatible and he 
was going out with other people, too. Only he was the one who met someone 
else first. 

"He came to see me as always and we made love. He lay on top of me, 
thrusting his prick into my ass as he held my breasts against his chest, my 
face against his. It was so close to what I now thought of as "the real 
thing," that after my spasmodic climax subsided and he held me under him, I 
wanted to tell him that I thought I was beginning to be "normal" after all. 
I was on the point of begging him to fuck me in the cunt when he rolled off 
and said he had something to tell me. 

"There was another woman, that's what it amounted to. He still cared for me, 
yes, her cool fingers across our naked skin. 

"Bill's asshole was very tight and very hot. I loved the feel of it-kinda 
like fucking a virgin. I was ready to shoot almost immediately, but I held 
off, waiting until Bill was ready also. 

"Let me know when, Bill," I muttered, in sheer ecstasy. I heard Sheila 
moaning with each of his thrusts and her soft sounds made me all the more 
ready to shoot off. 

"Oh man, it's coming! Fuck me hard, Denny! I'm gonna come! I'm gonna come!' 
He moved his body with incredible force. Then "I felt a tightening, a 
contraction in him, deep within his hot asshole which told me the first shot 
of sperm had leaped from his cock. 

"Oh God!" Sheila shouted and then muffled her mouth with the mattress. 

"I let go. I collapsed as my body poured my come into Bill's rectum. It 
seemed to ease out of me in one long gush, and I thought it would never end. 
Bill yelled in utter ecstasy as he felt the cream spurting hotly into his 
asshole from down the length of my cock and against his rubbery anal walls. 
He pumped his own cock as it emptied into Sheila in just the same way. 

"I didn't want it to end. It was too perfect, too exciting, too magical. And 
I wasn't even stoned! I fucked him and her at the same time, it seemed, for 
the electricity was going through all three bodies. I finally pulled out of 
Bill's ass, giving Sheila a chance to breathe beneath our weight. Then he 
pulled out of her and we all sat on the bed. 

"Sheila took Bill's wet, slippery cock into her mouth and licked off all the 
come. She sucked on it for a minute and the sight of her doing that excited 
me again and my cock began to harden. 

"Bill put his head down and took me in his mouth, doing what she had done to 
him, cleansing me of the semen and sweat from his anal canal. Then he didn't 
stop until he had brought me to another orgasm, and just before I came I 
shoved two fingers up Sheila's spread ass and worked them around as Bill's 
wet come slipped out of her hole. 

"Then I shot into his mouth, but the load wasn't nearly as big as the first 
one had been. He pulled his head away and we all lay on the bed. The film 
had run out and the camera was still going, but Bill was too beat to get up 
and turn it off. We all felt like we had been through a physical workout, 
alright. 

"Again, as with all the other times, I felt a kind of revulsion toward 
Sheila. I liked her and I liked fucking her, but that was all she was good 
for. She wasn't very intelligent. But Bill was, he was brilliant, and I 
think he'll be a great filmmaker some day. I didn't mind talking to him, 
even after I had fucked him. But I was no longer interested in Sheila. 

"I don't know what it is. Maybe I'm afraid that the chick's gonna turn 
around and ask for a vaginal fuck after the anal fuck is completed? Maybe I 
hate girls because of my mother? Maybe I'm crazy. But I don't find it 
screwing up my life. I'm pretty happy and now I'm really into working on 
films with Bill. Oh, I see Sheila around every now and then, but Bill and I 
have become close friends, and I still enjoy fucking him. 

"I really hope one day that I'll be able to overcome my distaste for having 
women around as something other than sexual objects. That's all they are to 
me, a nice piece of ass-a nice ass-fuck, and nothing more. I guess it would 
be nice to get married when I'm older and maybe have kids, but not till I 
get it together about girls. I don't want to be fucking guys my whole life! 

"It isn't a big thing and I'm not too worried about it, but I thought I'd 
mention it, in case you have any ideas. I always like to think ahead and 
look to the future." 

Denholm's multiple deviations and their renunciation or the overcoming of 
them are dependent upon three factors. 

First, there is his desire to overcome them, and secondly, they are 
dependent upon his ability to unite the two currents of love, the tender and 
affectionate feelings and the sexual feelings, a set of feelings that are 
very often quite divergent. Thirdly, his ability to come to terms with his 
desire for incest. The accomplishing of this task will necessarily lead him 
to a conscious realization that all his defenses are devised to counter this 
desire, which ultimately are the causes of his aberrations. 

will be afraid to experiment with anal intercourse. Because a woman's sexual 
anatomy is diffuse, the problem of learning to enjoy anal intercourse is 
subtle and complex. She must learn to relax, to let herself go, to abandon 
herself. She must, above all, become aware of new sensations. Little wonder, 
then, that the transition from vaginal to anal intercourse with orgasm is 
not instantaneous, but something that takes time and understanding on the 
part of the man involved. 

Even though maximum responsiveness may be long in coming, the learning 
period of anal experimentation need not be frustrating for the woman if the 
man is considerate in his actions. This is a time for gradual progression 
from the low-keyed sexuality of accustomed vaginal intercourse to the higher 
pitch of anal intercourse. 

The goal for both the man and the woman should be to make their sexual 
experience as rewarding for both parties as possible. With skillful 
stimulation and patience from the man, more frequent orgasms from the woman 
can be hoped for in anal intercourse than might be experienced in the first 
few attempts. 

Today, the range of possible sexual experience has widened tremendously. The 
emancipation of women, the increased education for both sexes, have 
encouraged sexual experimentation. Most men and women approach sex with the 
attitude that they will try almost anything once. They may not enjoy it, and 
may never repeat it, but they feel that the best way to find out about 
something is to try it. 

As a result of this willingness to experiment sexually, manual-genital 
stimulation has become almost universal, oral-genital contact has become 
common, and anal intercourse has become one of the most popular of the 
"experiments," as opposed to the "standards" of manual and oral play. 
Because, as was explained earlier, the divorced woman is searching for some 
method of reassuring herself that it was not because of her lack of sexual 
ability that her marriage came to an end, it is quite common for analism to 
become the most popular method of sexual experimentation. 


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